I think accidentally dialing a wrong number is probably the most random way for two human beings to get connected. Even if just for a few seconds.
I mean, think about it. There’s you, and then there’s this other person who you don’t know, and because you dialed a number that was just one digit off, the two of you are now speaking to each other.
Granted, those conversations are usually pretty short. It’s probably not the most effective way to meet new people and make new friends.
But one time, a young man named Henry saw his phone buzz with a text message. The message he saw there was clearly not meant for him. It was from a woman named Kasey, who he didn’t even know. Today you’ll hear what happened after that life-changing text.
Kasey told this story years ago here on the podcast. In today’s Flashback episode, you’ll hear our original conversation, and then an update from Kasey on what’s happened since then. And it’s a lot.
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Kasey’s website:
https://kaseybergh.com/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/kasey.bergh
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https://www.instagram.com/kasey.bergh/
LinkedIn –
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kasey-bergh-543a505/
Full show notes and pictures for this episode are here:
https://WhatWasThatLike.com/183
Graphics for this episode by Bob Bretz. Transcription was done by James Lai.
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Episode transcript (download transcript PDF):
I think accidentally dialing a wrong number is probably the most random way for two human beings to get connected. Even if just for a few seconds.
I mean, think about it. There’s you, and then there’s this other person who you don’t know, and because you dialed a number that was just one digit off, the two of you are now speaking to each other.
Granted, those conversations are usually pretty short. It’s probably not the most effective way to meet new people and make new friends.
But one time, a young man named Henry saw his phone buzz with a text message. The message he saw there was clearly not meant for him. It was from a woman named Kasey, who he didn’t even know. Today you’ll hear what happened after that life-changing text.
Kasey told this story years ago here on the podcast. In today’s Flashback episode, you’ll hear our original conversation, and then an update from Kasey on what’s happened since then. And it’s a lot.
Scott
Do you find yourself being more careful about entering phone numbers now?
Kasey
Yes. I just saw on Instagram that a friend of mine was moving back from New York to St. Louis, so I went on my phone to send her a text, and then I thought, “I wonder if this is still really her phone number.” So I said, “Hey, it’s Kasey.” I reached out to her because I didn’t know if that number had changed or if I had gotten the wrong number.
Scott
Yeah. When you look at your phone, you can only see a person’s name and number, and that can change. Well, let’s get a little background about how this whole thing happened. I’m so excited to hear this story because it’s so great. Tell us how this started. You were in Denver on a work trip or something, right?
Kasey
Right. I live in St. Louis. I was working for Purina and I was in Denver for a big work – a big picnic thing that we were going to do in Denver City Park. I went there early so that I could hang out with my girlfriend who lives in the suburbs. The plan was to meet a co-worker at noon at our hotel in downtown Denver. So, my friend drove me from the suburbs to the city. I texted the woman that I was supposed to meet, and I got a text back from her that said, “I’m still in St. Louis.” I was, like, “What?! I could have stayed with my friend and we could have hung out more, but now we’re almost downtown!”
So, Sonia went ahead and dropped me off. I went into my room, I checked in, and then I just started reaching out to anybody else who I knew was supposed to be there. Another woman was like, “I’m still stuck in St. Louis”. Somebody else said “I’m not even coming” and somebody else said, “I’m in Boulder. I’ll just see you tomorrow.” So, I was just getting more and more frustrated. I think that was a really big key to this whole thing. I finally thought of one person – we had gone to a couple of concerts together a long time ago. So, I thought, “Well, I think I still have his phone number on my phone.” So I reached out to him. Just because I wasn’t sure if I had it right, I said, “Hey, it’s Kasey. So I went into a little scenario. I was supposed to meet Maria at the hotel at noon, but she’s still in St. Louis. I was wondering if you’d like to hang out.” I got a text back that said, “I’m sorry. You’ve got the wrong number. If I wasn’t on my way to work, I would hang out with you.” So, mind you, this is a St. Louis number. I’m in Denver, but I’m texting a St. Louis number. I am a very expressive person. I was horrified and embarrassed. So, I wrote back and I was like, “Oh, my God. I was afraid this was going to happen. I’m in Denver on a work trip. I’m trying to find some colleagues.” I got back this response back that said, “Oh, interesting. I’m going to drive through that area next week, as I’m going on a solo walkabout in the southwest.” I thought, “Well, isn’t that interesting? This person is like sharing something with me.”
Scott
He was in St. Louis, but he was also going to be in Denver?
Kasey
Yeah. In a week, he would be going on a solo walkabout and I thought… A) that was an interesting thing for someone to do and B) that was pretty cool. At that moment, I said, “Well, it is nice to meet you.” I don’t know if I even said, like, “Have fun on your trip!” I thought it was so hot there, so I said, “Stay cool.” Then, I hung up and got a cab to take me to find the Purina event – it was a setup day. Well, Denver City Park is, sort of, like, the size of Forest Park – this cab driver drove me through all of it. We went every road and we couldn’t find anything. I anticipated seeing big “Purina” banners, big “Pro Plan” banners, and all these people, but I couldn’t find any of them. So, the meter has racked up to $35. Then I said, “Let’s just go back to the hotel.” Well, I’m such a connector but I had not been able to connect with anyone, so my level of frustration is very high now. The only person on the face of the earth with whom I had been able to connect with is this stranger. So I wrote him back. Well, $35 later, I still couldn’t find any of my Purina people, so I still didn’t have anybody to hang out with. I went back to the hotel. Then, I started seeing all kinds of Purina people and walking for a few hours later on our way to dinner. I got a text back from this person who said, “What you put your energy on is what comes back to you.” Do you know anything about the secret or the law of attraction? That was something that I have, like, lived by and read everything about. I was just, like, “How is this person on the other end of that phone reaching out to me with something that’s so valuable to me?” I was just, like, “Yes, absolutely. It’s like how I live my whole life.”
Scott
Can you kind of summarize what that means for those that don’t know about it?
Kasey
Yeah. Wayne Dyer has a book called “The Power of Intention.” When you put focus on, like, something that you’re interested in, you’d want to start hanging out with people who are like-minded, writing it down as an affirmation and just, kind of, put it out to the universe, and it’ll respond to you. You’ll start to meet people who like those same things. In “The Secret”, if you’re interested in getting a red BMW, they say that you can manifest it with the power of intentions. I don’t like the commercial version of that. I especially just kind of like how Henry put it in terms of energy. If I was, kind of, going, “Oh, this is so terrible”, then it can keep getting even worse and more terrible. However, if you focus on, “Oh, isn’t this an exciting adventure?” then you get that energy coming back to you. So that’s the law of attraction or the power of intention.
Scott
He has, kind of, the same philosophy, then?
Kasey
Yes. So, he sent that to me by text. We had no idea who we were at all.
Scott
Did you even know if he was a male or female?
Kasey
I didn’t know. I knew nothing. At that point, though – I mean, I was at dinner – he wrote back and said, “Can we share emails because there’s, like, so much to talk about here.” So then, we started emailing each other that night until I had to go to bed. I was like, “Have you seen this movie? Did you see ‘What the Bleep Do We Know’? Have you ever read this book?” He was asking me the same things. The next morning, I think – I had all these texts that I did screenshots of – one of the first questions he asked me was, “What is your Myers Briggs Personality Type?” That’s another thing that’s really important to me. I’m like, “Who is this person on the other end of these texts who knows my soul?” For people who don’t know about that, it’s like introvert/extrovert, if you’re a thinker or a feeler. So, I’m an extroverted ENFP – I don’t remember now – and he’s an INTJ. So, that would be, like, the total opposites, but he looked it up and said, “It says that we’re a perfect match.” So, we just kept texting. Then, during that early morning, I was, like, trying to figure out if he’s a man or a woman, how old he is, or anything. I asked him what kind of music he liked, thinking that might, kind of, give me a little insight. He did say, “Electronic.” I was thinking, like, “Okay, he’s going to work at 2 o’clock and he likes all these things. He might be a janitor or somebody. He’s old and is, like, spending his later years interested in all these kinds of topics.” So, then, he asked me how old I was – at that point, I had kind of figured out that he was younger. I told him that I was 25 in my heart. He told me afterward that as soon as I said that, he knew I was old.
Scott
The answer to avoid the answer…
Kasey
Yeah. I said, “I’m 53. He said he was 23.” Now, there might have been a little tiny bit of flirting, but it was more of, like, just having found somebody who likes the same things that you like. We were just really excited about sharing all these things. Then, we got further into music. Then, at some point during that week, he told me that he didn’t know what he wanted to do – he was, kind of, in a stasis in his life where he wanted to get moving but he wasn’t sure what it was at that moment. He was selling paint at Lowe’s. I love to inspire young people, so I said, “Hey, why don’t we have coffee?” Or maybe he even said, “Let’s have coffee.” I just thought that I had the craziest life and that I could inspire him – I had been kind of a meandering person. All these wonderful connections, jobs, and things just came together and happened to me throughout my 20s, 30s, and 40s through the power of intentions, and I thought that I would share that with him. So, we arranged not to speak or share anything until we met on Friday.
Scott
And this is in St. Louis?
Kasey
Back to St. Louis. I worked at Purina at that time and we did a lot of things with different fairs and events going on around the city. It was the Fourth of July fair on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday – Friday night was a concert with Third Eye Blind. I asked him if he wanted a couple of tickets for that show – they were VIP passes. I was going with a friend, he could go with his friend, we’d have coffee, and then we’d go our own ways. While we were at coffee, his friend canceled and so did mine. So, I was like, “Do you want to just go together? Do you trust me?” I even took him back to my apartment so I could get changed. Then, we just went down to the riverfront and went to the fair.
Scott
Before you get into that, let me ask you this… When you first met him, what was your impression when you first saw each other?
Kasey
Okay. I kind of tend to skim over some details, I’m sorry. So, I walked into the coffee shop and he just kind of had a bright happy face – like, good teeth. Then, he stood up. One of the questions I asked him along the way was, like, “How tall are you? I’m almost 5’10” He told me that he was 6’2”. So, it was really nice to, like, stand next to somebody who was taller than me. He has a tattoo of a molecular chain on his forearm and it’s, like, one of the happy chemicals in your brain. So, he’s really into dopamine or something like that. So, I noticed the tattoo and I was like, “Oh, that’s so cool.” So, we just, like, felt a really good vibe as soon as we saw each other.
Scott
You must have been a little bit nervous though, right?
Kasey
Oh, yeah. I was excited and nervous. The whole part of me that loves to inspire people was definitely excited and wanted to hear his story. He hadn’t really shared a lot with me that week prior.
Scott
So when you first met, did you, kind of, go into this all with a mindset of mentoring or inspiring? Or was there a tiny little bit of you that was thinking, “Maybe, this is something that can go somewhere.”?
Kasey
No, I really wasn’t thinking. I thought that it was going to be a mentoring thing, that we would meet on occasion, and that I would probably give him ideas for other books to read and things like that. I mean, as I said, there was, maybe, a little bit of an underlying flirting going on, but I just spend so much time with young people that age doesn’t make any difference to me – I really didn’t think of it as being a date or anything like that. Another thing that was kind of fun is that I met some of my friends there. Right from the beginning, nobody batted an eye that I was, like, hanging out with this younger guy – Henry looked like he was about 17 at that time. So that was another thing that – I guess when I was thinking about it – made me feel like it wasn’t going to be any kind of a relationship or anything. So, we were watching the concert right up close to the stage. About halfway through, he put his hands on my hips.
Scott
He was standing behind you?
Kasey
Yeah. Then, I was just, like, “Oh… Well, this just, sort of, took another turn.” I think if it was another 53-year-old woman, she might have turned around and said, like, “Hey, back off. I’m old enough to be your mother.” But that wasn’t where we were going – I was not who I was. I was just, like, “Okay, well, this is interesting.” There was such good energy between us, so I think that it felt like it could be an interesting deal.
Scott
I’m sure that the music added to that too, right?
Kasey
Yeah. I mean, it was very crowded, so we were, like, definitely getting squished together.
Scott
It was a good concert, then…
Kasey
Yeah. Then, we went from there to a really cool rooftop restaurant in St. Louis that overlooks the arch – it was one of my favorite places to go. We went there and had a glass of wine. At that time, he was not actually drinking, so we just, like, hung out. I think we went back to my apartment and had, like, so many things to talk about. It was just, like, endless conversation on our thoughts about life, books, philosophies, and all kinds of stuff. We did end up kissing that night. Then, he went home. So it didn’t, like, explode, but it was definitely going somewhere.
Scott
So, when did you see each other after that?
Kasey
Well, he was going on that walkabout. So Saturday, he worked–
Scott
What exactly is a walkabout? Is this just a hike? I mean, Denver’s at a high altitude.
Kasey 18.24
It’s an Australian term for, like, a solo hike. I thought that it was kind of cool that he knew what that term was anyway. He was actually going out to the Great Basin in Utah, somewhere in Denver – that area was going to be his halfway mark. So, he had his car all packed and we met at a coffee shop that I used to live over the top of previously. The synchronicity that kept us, like, coming together was just incredible – in small ways and in bigger ways. I brought my computer along because I wanted to ask him how to do something. Then, we just sat and talked for at least two hours until he needed to get on the road. So, we saw each other on Friday and Sunday, and then he was gone for, like, 10 or 14 days. He was really dedicated in his own self to, like, not have any connection with me or the rest of the world while he was there but – I’m trying to remember if it was that same night or the next day – I got a phone message from him saying that he loved me. I think I might have been sleeping. So, I woke up and got this voice message from him that said, “I love you. I just want to tell you that I love you.” I played it over and over and over again.
Here’s another thing that’s kind of fun and interesting… For six years, I was single. I had been suddenly dumped by my husband and I was initially devastated. Then, I was just, kind of, like, doing my thing for, like, six years. I had no real success or any kind of happiness with dating. I’m really enthusiastic and excited about life as a person. Henry was the first person who I didn’t feel like I had to hold myself back with. So, I think it was just, like, fun to be super excited because, with other guys, you have to be, like, cagey and not excited. In the dating world, we were both just super excited. We did talk one night and I remember, like, a whole movie went through before we ended the conversation. I think he was at a hotel or something on that travel. Then, we didn’t really have much contact with each other after that. I didn’t know where he was and when he was coming back. I left him a text message saying I wish that he was coming back on this one day because I had an extra ticket for this amphitheater where my favorite tribute band was doing a Pink Floyd concert. My plus one – Jamie, I think, who connected us together – couldn’t go and I was, once again, without a person to go to the concert with. He loves Pink Floyd, and I was like, “God, I wish you were here.” Well, it turned out that he was just a couple of hours away. So, as soon as he got home, he got cleaned up and headed to me. Then, we went to that concert together. So, it was just, like, “Bing, bang, boom!” It happened, like, so fast.
Scott
That is fast. How quickly did it progress from there?
Kasey
It was just, like, presto, I think the only hard part for me was when we go to the coffee shop or grocery store and people think that he’s my son – that was a big test for me. I looked at these things as a test from the universe and not something to run away from. So, instead of me saying, “Oh, I can’t do this”, I was like, “Oh, I have to grow into this.” So, it took me a while – I would say 3 or 4 months – before I really just started feeling comfortable going out with him and not feeling, like, totally self-conscious. I felt like, maybe, a woman who had figured out that she was gay and coming out to the world with the fact that she’s gay – that’s the only thing that I could liken it to because I was just, like, “Okay, this is a really huge thing for me to feel right now.”
Scott
So, you saw it as a challenge…
Kasey
I just saw it as a challenge. I brought him to see my dad. My dad is, like, 22 years older than his wife. They didn’t blink an eye – my mom, my sister, my brother, his wife, and kids didn’t. Nobody said anything. None of our family and friends ever said anything like, “You guys shouldn’t be together.” We were just embraced right from the beginning. So, that was, like, our opening.
Scott
Yeah. It kind of makes sense if your dad or your family is already accustomed to a relationship with a big age difference – yours is not that much bigger than his.
Kasey
It was nice. The funny thing is, as you might imagine, I was wondering if I was older than his parents. They could be 40 years old or something.
Scott
So how did that work out?
Kasey
Well, they waited for quite a long time before they had him. So, they’re like 5 and 7 years older than me. So, we didn’t really talk about how old I was at the beginning. I mean, I was obviously way older than him, but he had changed and grown so much and was continuing to blossom in our relationship. So, they just thought that I was like sliced bread. So, that was also very welcoming. He got an older and a younger brother who are just so loving and caring with me. It’s been amazing.
Scott
It sounds amazing. I love the way you, kind of, look at everything from a positive standpoint. Has the age difference caused any issues at all?
Kasey
No. We have more issues because of that personality difference. He’s like meticulous and ordered whereas I’m all over the place. I always say that it’s like having a Border Collie living with me that wants to hurl me into, like, kind of, the way that he wants life to go, and I’m like, “I know. I don’t need your help or advice. I’ve been doing okay on my own for all this time.”
Scott
The challenge for him then was to avoid trying to do that all the time, right?
Kasey
Yeah, he’s just not quite there yet, though. I always tease him and say, “When you’re 50, you’re going to get all this stuff.”
Scott
In an interview or two that I saw you on, I think I heard you refer to Henry as an old soul. Can you elaborate on that a little bit?
Kasey
I can. It’s interesting because, sometimes, the way he speaks is almost from, like, a really long time ago era – he’ll use an interesting word or something. Well, he really is a genius. He so smart and he’s very introspective. He usually reads voraciously from the internet – he just constantly reads and learns about everything. He taught me so much about finer things in music, art, and movies where I’m like, “I don’t even know what the words are to the song, but I love singing along to it. I like how the music sounds.” So, we’re that different, he’s so old, and I’m totally a young soul. So it’s like, with his wisdom, centeredness, knowledge, and things, sometimes, it feels overbearing. But for the most part, it’s just like, I don’t even feel any age now. It’s like we just meet exactly in the middle.
Scott
Yeah, it sounds, like, you’re spiritually or emotionally, kind of, at the same age.
Kasey
Yeah, absolutely. We do go to a relationship coach because we can fight about, like, the dumbest stuff. We can feel, like, we want to quit, but he helped us to see that we’re actually so deeply and soulfully connected and that the little fights are just something to work through. Like, Henry went to Burning Man a couple of years ago and we had some really intense conversations that we just grew so much from. Like, I know people get divorced because the husband wanted to go to Burning Man and I was, like, “Hey, go. Have all the experiences” because I’m so confident in who I am and, like, who we are together.
Scott
How much time has passed from the time you first met or from the time of that text message until you’ve gotten married?
Kasey
That was three years, I think. He proposed after 2 years and then we got married after 3 years.
Scott
That seems reasonable.
Kasey
Yeah. I mean, we were so together from the beginning. We always knew that we would be together until we got in a fight and then it would be, like, “I couldn’t care less if I ever see you again.” (Laughter) I want people to know that we’re so real because it does sound like a Hallmark movie, but it’s not. There are hard work, fights, challenges, and frustrations, but we’re both, like, in it pushing and growing. So, it can get grimy.
Scott
Well, everything we’ve talked about so far is an amazing story in itself. There’s a whole other new chapter in this which I find so incredible. Tell us about your history with your kidney issues.
Kasey
Okay. When I was in my late 20s, I found out that I had kidney disease. In 1995, I found out that my kidneys had failed, so I had a kidney transplant in July of 95. It lasted for almost 22 years. So, when I met Henry, it lasted another 4 years from when we met, but it was interesting because he knew that, maybe, ultimately, I might need another kidney transplant. In one of those very first days or weeks, he said, “Well, I’m O+.” That’s not a total universal blood to donate, but for anybody who has a positive blood type, it’s universal for a B and anything else that is positive. So, he had generously volunteered that well. So, my kidneys failed. My last day of work was March 24, 2017, and I went on dialysis on the 27th. Those dates just totally got stuck in my head. I thought that I was going to have a transplant like my first one. I found out in April that my kidneys had failed. By July, I had a kidney. I had challenge after challenge after challenge. That was another opportunity for me to put that whole positive spin on things because I did get mad, and then I would come to terms with it, but it took two years. We did test him. For kidney transplants, they like to have a tissue match – there are actually 6 of them that can be a match and my sister matched me in all 6 of those tissues. So, it was like getting a kidney from a twin, but it still failed after 22 years, though. Then, Henry got tested and–
Scott
Wait a minute, your sister was the first donor?
Kasey
Yeah. She was my first donor.
Scott
Okay. Then, she couldn’t give you her other one.
Kasey
No. My brother didn’t match me at all. Henry ended up almost being a better match than my brother.
Scott
This is what I find so incredible. I did an episode earlier about a local man here who donated a kidney to a stranger. As we were talking about that, based on the statistics, people die from waiting for kidneys just because you couldn’t find a match – there are not enough volunteers to donate. So, for Henry to be what you called a perfect immunological match just seems like the odds are astronomical!
Kasey
I know. I didn’t even know that until that newspaper article came out. I kind of thought, “Well, he doesn’t match me at all. Is it okay? It’s just a blood match. Is it going to last 7 or 12 years?” Then, I was, kind of, discouraged because I thought, “Gosh, I would never want to go through this again at 72 – I’ll be viable and older and I don’t really want to deal with dialysis at that point.” So the immunological match means that I can develop antibodies in my body that will try to fight off this new intruder, but my antibodies are not going to interfere with his kidney, so it should last. If I take my medicine and do everything right, it should last. I hope it lasts as long as I need it to until 25 or 30 years later or something.
Scott
How long had you been married before he gave you his kidney?
Kasey
It’s so hard to figure these out. I don’t know – I don’t really pay attention.
Scott
You need to write out the whole timeline here, right?
Kasey
I do. I guess, it was, like, 3.5 years from the wedding until the transplant. I think that this summer will mark our 4 years of being married.
Scott
So you’ve had the transplant recently then…
Kasey
It had been 6 weeks. But when this comes out, it’ll be eight weeks.
Scott
Since you both had surgery, you’ve sort of been recovering together. How has that gone?
Kasey
It’s been amazing. It was the best growing experience you could ever imagine. It’s also a miracle that our pain was localized to, kind of, like, just our abdomen. For the listeners out there, our kidneys are put and encased in our skeletal system so that they’re safe in there, right? You can’t get it back – it’s, like, way too difficult – so I actually have 4 kidneys right now. My old ones have atrophied – they’re the size of walnuts. It’s easy to get a blood supply into your bladder, so it just goes right in there, and then that’s it. Then, they’ve got nerve blockers now that they could just put right on our incisions. When we came home, we have a really steep set of stairs in our house. When we go up and down the stairs, we both felt, like, the pain was just localized to the incisions – we had no other issues. So, we couldn’t drive, though. Everybody was like, “Well, how did you do it? Did you have people to take care of you?” We were like, “Fine, it was bizarre.” He was home after 3 days and I was home after 4 days.
Scott
In terms of your recovery after surgery, have you found that you are, kind of, synchronized in that?
Kasey
Well, it was really interesting because it couldn’t have worked the same if he had given a kidney OR if he had had an operation but I didn’t OR if I’d had an operation but he didn’t because we would have progressing days and, then, all of a sudden, both of us would have one day where we could hardly move and we were both in so much pain – it was, like, so synced. The first 3 weeks were incredible because we were just, like, having the same thing. Then, of course, you got down to, like, “Well, did you poop today?” because we both were constipated after the surgery. It was just really, kind of, crazy that we were able to just have that same synchronicity. I kind of kept thinking about, like, a poor turtle on its back trying to get up because that was one thing that we both had really difficulty in trying to sit up from any kind of laying down when we have that much abdominal pain.
Scott
That’s just incredible. All of the factors in the story… I mean, to go from texting a wrong number to him being your husband and getting a kidney from him.
Kasey
Yeah. It’s beyond comprehension. It’s so funny because we’ve lived it for almost the last 7 years. When you, kind of, become a drone and look down at it, it is like, “Seriously, that’s how we met and this is what happened?!”
Scott
That gives you quite a story.
Kasey
When we live it every single day, we don’t always think about, like, the insanity of it.
Scott
Is there any part of it that I haven’t asked you about that you want to talk about?
Kasey
Just knowing how much he loves me – although we’re both really practical people – is just so humbling. I’ve had some challenges with my health in the last few weeks because I had a bad reaction to one of my anti-rejection drugs. He had to take me to the emergency room twice and all of the doctors kept thinking that it was my heart or my lungs. I kept saying that it’s one of the drugs – I know it is because I’m really sensitive to medicines. He’s been just, like, right there with me through these things when I was just waiting all night for a test and telling him to go home. His dedication to me is so humbling.
Scott
When a lot of news stories talk about your story, they included the phrase, “They were not really supposed to meet,” but it sounds like you might disagree with that.
Kasey
Yeah. Another really neat thing is that he doesn’t answer calls or texts from wrong numbers – numbers which he doesn’t have from his phone – but he did. So, he knew exactly where he was driving on the local freeways and he knew reggie was going underneath when he got my text, but he went back to do it that one time. I know there are so many times that I’ll just say “Thank you for responding to my text” because it changed the course of everything.
Scott
Speaking of changing the course… you are about to embark on a new career. Tell us about that a little bit.
Kasey
Thank you. I remember going to a DayTimer class when I was in my 20s. Henry had asked me what a DayTimer was.
Scott
I remember those…
Kasey
Yes, I know, but maybe some of the younger people might not. It’s a calendaring system. The people who taught those programs back in the 80s were dynamic and I wanted to do that. I had been coordinating and presenting fashion shows for many years back in the 80s and halfway through the 90s. So, I loved being in front of a big crowd of people. I just had the most amazing life. There have just been so many miracles that have just happened to me and I really want to share them so that I can inspire people to be their own advocates if they’re having challenges with their medicines or with their health, and I want to inspire young people to take risks and find their new career. As a matter of fact, that is something that we didn’t really get into. Way at the beginning, Henry had bought a Mac. Then, he was working on teaching himself how to code. I was encouraging him to do informational interviews, and he got an informational interview at a small digital agency, and they said, “We’ll take you on for 3 months and we won’t pay you, but you can learn as much about coding as you can.” At the same time, he had moved in with me because he was still living with his parents and his world was so small and I was like, “I got to open your world up. Do you trust me? Come with me.” But I didn’t want to, like, fund him. He cashed in his 401K from Lowe’s and it was exactly the amount of money that he needed to live for 3 months. So, he got that free internship and then he taught himself how to code – he did that so beautifully. So, that’s one of the things I knew that I was going to be able to do – to encourage him. I always say to him, “Out of all the 9 billion people on this planet, I’m the one who believes in you the most.” He’s so smart. So, I want to encourage other young person to go after their dreams and to set up informational interviews. I feel the most alive when I’m in front of people. I can see their eyes, look right at them, speak to them, and inspire them to do something greater than they ever thought that they could. So, I would be a motivational speaker.
Scott
Yeah. It’s funny that when I hear the words ‘Motivational speaker’, I always automatically think Matt Foley – are you familiar with him?
Kasey
No.
Scott
Do a YouTube search on the name “Matt Foley.” It’s a Saturday Night Live sketch.
Kasey
Oh, okay. (Chuckles)
Scott
Yeah. Look that up – you’ll get a kick out of that.
Kasey
All right, cool.
Scott
Kasey, as I said at the beginning, I love this story. I’m going to have links so that people know how to contact you if they want to. You’re also going to have a website for your speaking business – I’ll put all that on my website.
Kasey
Right now, I have a publicist whom I’m working with. So, she’s kind of managing all those things. So, I’ll give you her information. Then, people can find us on Facebook – we have a Kasey and Henry website – so they can follow us there. We post our adventures. I also do Motivational Monday speaking. I mean, there are posts and, like, all kinds of interesting stuff that we put there.
Scott
You know what you really need?
Kasey
No.
Scott
You need a podcast.
Kasey
I’ve… Yeah… I know.
Scott
We can talk about that.
Kasey
All right. A long time ago, I wanted to do a vlog. The very first day when I thought of that, I wrote down, like, 100 different things that I could talk about. So yeah, all right, I’m right at the beginning.
Scott
There are so many different ways to connect with people because of technology today. It’s just awesome.
Kasey
Well, it’s been an absolute delight.
Scott
Yeah, I love hearing this. I really appreciate you sharing your story. We’ll look forward to seeing where this goes.
Kasey
Okay, thank you.
Scott
Kasey. It’s so good to see you again,
Kasey
Scott. I was so excited when you reached out and gave me a chance to reappear on your show.
Scott
How long have you guys been together now?
Kasey
It’ll be 12 years in three days.
Scott
That’s amazing. That is so awesome. Well, let’s talk about what’s happened since we last spoke. I understand you have moved into the house that you lived in as a child.
Kasey
That’s true. Yeah.
Scott
How did that happen?
Kasey
Well, unfortunately, my mom had to die for that to happen. We had thought about approaching the family with it but we thought she’d live till she was 112 or something but she died at 90. So we were getting ready to sell the house and, all of a sudden, Henry and I thought, “Well, maybe we should buy it.” And we bought it from my brother and sister. It’s three acres on the West suburbs of St. Louis and it’s so unique because it’s completely surrounded by woods.
Scott
Oh, that sounds great.
Kasey
Yeah. We were just in Las Vegas surrounded by a million people on hot sidewalks and I came home to all these woods. I was feeding my deer and turkeys and I thought, “This is where I’m supposed to be.”
Scott
And what’s Henry doing for work now?
Kasey
Well, Henry works for Hay House Publishing. He does the apps for the online listening. So he does the mobile work for them which is very exciting. He gets to work for a company that means so much to him and us because Louise Hay was such a pioneer in personal growth. So he’s been doing that. But on the side, he’s been working on a fireplace app. He was first to market when Apple opened up Apple TV apps and his winter fireplace app was number one until recently he rewrote the entire thing. He looked at The Disney app and Netflix. He wanted it to be so great and, it’s amazing, Scott. It’s amazing.
Scott
How can people get that or what devices you said it’s on Apple TV or can they get it on any TV?
Kasey
No, just Apple TV. It’s in the Apple TV app store and on your iPhone if you want to look at your fireplace on an iPhone or on your iPad. But you can also airplay those to your TV.
Scott
Okay.
Kasey
He’s going to do beach bonfires this summer. He’s got all seasons. People really love that for Halloween because you’ve got smoking jack-o-lanterns.
Scott
Okay. Yeah. We’ll have a link to that. Now what I really want to ask is this. Your age difference is 30 years and you’re still together although I know you’ve gone through some rocky times from time to time. How do you stay together after 12 years?
Kasey
Well, I think that we both know– there’s a little saying that I keep that says when I realize that relationships are here to make me conscious instead of happy… And that’s my thing. We both recognize that fights between us are signs for us that we need to grow a bit more. Even though we can just get into some doozies, we just keep coming back together and moving forward. So we’ve been really successful with that.
Scott
Obviously, you figured it out.
Kasey
Yeah. I’ll give you a good example. He used to always close the door on me in the middle of a fight and I would try to break the door down until we had this conversation once. He told me, as a teenager, his parents took his door off the hinges and he’s an introvert and he loves his privacy. When he gets overwhelmed in a fight, he needs quiet time. He never was able to express that. I was operating from being, like, a four years old and feeling abandoned. So he was on one side of the door as a teenager and I was on the other side of the door as a 4-year-old – each of us in our own complete worlds. In other words, we were both doing what we did and, when we figured that out, now, it’s rare for me to ever mind that he’s behind a door. Then, he doesn’t have me on the other side trying to break it down which would kind of feel like the parents barging in. I like to dig deeper and understand what’s really behind something. That’s why sometimes when we have our knock-down drag-outs, I will understand what’s behind it.
Scott
Figuring that out kind of saves on door repair costs as well.
Kasey
You’re right. Yeah.
Scott
You just did something that I am pretty fascinated with. You went to Las Vegas to that sphere, the big globe thing. I got to get out there sometime. What did you see and what was it like?
Kasey
Oh, this is the best for What Was That Like, , isn’t it?
Scott
Yeah.
Kasey
I’m not sure I have words and you can see me closing my eyes to be able to say it was– we felt life changed in a way we will never be able to see a concert again without remembering what that was like. We had seats in 300, the 1st night, 100, the 2nd, and 200, the 3rd. We’d go back to the 300s because the screen is all the way over your head and it comes down behind the stage and all the way peripherally. Henry says it’s kind of like virtual reality for an entire group of people, so they lift off into space. You can see the nebulas. Sometimes it’s water. Sometimes it looks like a cartoon. The best thing for us is that we got to hear all of our favorite songs, which was just unbelievable.
Scott
And these are original members from the Grateful Dead.
Kasey
There are two original members and, then, John Mayer, who we just found out was instrumental in bringing it together. He was the one who was instrumental in doing all the creative for the visuals and then he had to learn every song, every Jerry Garcia, every note, and every word, and he did that right away. He’s an absolute genius and I hated him for a long time because I thought he was just, like, not my thing. But now I love him because he’s part of Dead & Company.
Scott
You still do coaching work. You’re kind of taking a break from that now but you do coaching work and you’ve got a website and everything. Let’s hear about that.
Kasey
Well, I talked to you about the fighting. I’ve had a really tragic divorce. I’ve gone through two kidney transplants. I even had a little cancer scare over the fall last year. That’s why I’m actually taking a break to really work on my emotional and physical health. I want women who are 50 and over who’ve had, like– women get really entrenched in roles of a mom or a wife or their job, and all that can get taken away as soon as a divorce happens or they retire early, or they have a health diagnosis, and it really shakes everything up because we get so enmeshed in a role. I really like to help women see that there is light on the other side. My brand and my logo is a lighthouse because I’m the solid rock and I guide people to where they want to see forward because there’s always another story besides what the voice in your head is telling you.
Scott
That’s great. Yeah, that’s definitely something that people need. All right. So your website is Kaseybergh.com. I know you’re on Facebook, Instagram, and all the socials. We’ll have links to all of that in the episode notes.
Kasey
Thank you. I want to just say one other little funny thing about who I am. Because I worked in fashion for 12 years in my twenties and into my thirties up until my first kidney transplant and I have the most beautiful closet full of all these clothes and I don’t work anymore outside the house, I do “What would Kasey wear Wednesday?” And so that’d be based on what’s in the closet today. I’m going to post all the things that I wore while I was at the Dead shows. It is just like my whimsical nature. I can be really intense and serious and have conversations with Henry – he’s a genius about life in outer space – or I can post about what would Kasey wear Wednesday.
Scott
You have quite a range.
Kasey
I do. I have so much fun being me, I got to tell you.
Scott
It is very clear that you are enjoying life.
Kasey
Yes, it is. I’ve been through some crazy tragedies myself, and I keep finding all this light and joy inside, and I love to inspire. My license plate says inspire you.
Scott
You can see a current picture of Kasey and Henry, and you can also get a full transcript of this episode, at WhatWasThatLike.com/183.
You know, sometimes when I’m telling someone about the podcast and I describe a lot of the episodes, they involve plane crashes, mass shootings, animal attacks – a lot of really sad stuff. But I want people to know that we do happy episodes sometimes too! And usually the example of a happy story that I use is Kasey’s story about the wrong number.
And I love getting voice mails!
Caller
Hey, Scott, just wanted to send a quick message. I sent you a message. I sent you a voice note probably a week or two back – I don’t know. Time kind of flies for me as a truck driver. I’m doing the local FedEx stuff. Before I know it, it’s already my day off again and I’m like, “Ooh, cool. Awesome.” But I was just listening to your podcast and, apparently, I realized I started back to episode one. I was like, “Oh crap. I got to your most recent episode.” Now I get to do the whole “hurry up and wait and look forward to all your current episodes” versus when I was only halfway through. That’s part of why I didn’t message you or send you the emails or whatever way back when I was about halfway through because I thought since I wasn’t going to be catching up on the current episodes, I was trying to catch all, try to binge listen, pretty much catch up. So, I was really worried about sending you an email or a voice note or something. And the off chance that you would mention it or something on your podcast, I wouldn’t know for however many weeks until I caught up – not that I expected to be on your podcast.
In one of the most recent episodes, I guess, about the lady that had a 16-year-old daughter that had a heart attack, I was like, “Holy crap! Really?! 16 had a heart attack? Holy shit.” And then, she managed to get a heart. Then, when she had her own son, was married or whatever, her heart was failing again, had other organs that were failing, and I thought, “Crap, she probably died. Didn’t she?” So I was really happy to hear that she had a triple transplant and I was like, “Well, thank God for that.” But just wanted to send you another clip.
I’m all caught up and I look forward to all your upcoming episodes. Appreciate you. Your podcast is awesome. Keep on doing what you’re doing. I especially enjoy the Tuesday questions with Meredith. It’s pretty awesome. Just hearing the difference between you and Meredith is, like, so much of a pleasure to listen to because it made me laugh. But anyway, keep doing what you’re doing and I look forward to tuning in.
Scott
And that’s how easy it is to call in and leave a voice mail. You can call in your comments on the podcast voice mail line 24/7 – just call 727-386-9468. Pretty good chance you’ll hear your voice right here on the podcast. Unless you want to talk about politics or something. We don’t do that here. Otherwise, I’ll probably play it. Even if you say something like, Scott you suck, and your podcast is terrible, and Breaking Bad, and The Bear, and The Office are all crappy TV shows with bad acting and no creativity. Because everyone has an opinion. So give me a call, let me know what you have to say. 727-386-9468 anytime and that line is never answered by a human.
And if you want to talk about this episode, or ANY episode, with about 7000 other listeners, you need to get over to the Facebook group. We talk about all kinds of stuff over there, not just the podcast. Every Tuesday we have a new question in the group that you can answer if you want to. In fact, this past Tuesday, the question in the group was “What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve found in someone else’s home?” Does that question bring something to mind? Come on over and tell us about it so we can all be disgusted together! WhatWasThatLike.com/facebook.
Graphics for this episode were created by Bob Bretz. Full episode transcription was created by James Lai.
Time for the Listener Story! If you have a story that’s interesting, and you can tell it in about 5-10 minutes, record it on your phone and email it to me – Scott@WhatWasThatLike.com.
This week’s Listener Story is about an unexpected thing at a carnival.
Stay safe, and I’ll be back next week with a Tuesday Question episode, and a brand new episode on Friday.
(Listener story)
Back in 2018, my husband and I had three kids, a 7-year-old, an 8-year-old, and a 3-year-old, and we were always looking to do fun, cheap things with the family. My husband had started a new job and they were hosting an event for just the families of the company and it was at a carnival. We drove out there – like, an hour away from our home – and we took the kids on all the roller coaster rides and we were just having a great time.
Then my husband said, “Hey, I’m going to take the older two to go on a ride. Why don’t you go with the little guy on a little kiddy ride?” So I was like, “Sure, that sounds fine.” So he pointed out the ride that he wanted to ride on which was, like, a little dragon roller coaster and it was a little kid roller coaster. I’m not sure if adults were allowed on it but, for some reason, I was like, “Okay, you want to ride on this one? You want to go by yourself?” And he’s like, “Yeah.” And he was so excited. It was the first time he was ever going to ride on a rollercoaster alone. So I was a little nervous but I was, like, okay.
So I buckled him in. I stepped back to watch the ride go. As soon as it started going, it went up to the first, like, hill of the roller coaster. Right as it was coming down, it basically stopped and actually went off the tracks. My son was just at the perfect angle where he hit his face right on the little metal cart thing that he was in. So I was standing there in complete shock, like, “This can’t be happening.” My little 3-year-old son was screaming and bleeding and it was so terrifying.
Then, all of a sudden, I saw my husband run from the other side of the carnival. He saw what happened, so he jumped over the fence, climbed up the roller coaster, got him out, and we were all just wow. “Oh my god, what do we do? So scary.” We rushed him to the local emergency room right there and he ended up having to have five stitches in his head, and it was just so scary and so traumatic for all of us. He was like, “I never want to go on a ride again.” And we are just never going to do a carnival again. Nothing against amusement parks that don’t move. It’s just those little carnivals that are just built by random people. I just really don’t trust them anymore. We will never be doing that again as a family.
But we did end up suing the people that put together the rides and we settled out of court and my son got $18,000 in a trust fund for his college. So it’s not all bad but it was very scary. I don’t think that we will ever do another carnival-type event again. A few years later, we ended up having another baby, and my youngest son was born with a cleft lip. It’s kind of sweet because after he had his surgery to repair his cleft lip, our older son has a scar on his right eye from the roller coaster, so they both have cute little scars on the right side of their face that were not planned and we would never wish either of those things to happen, but it’s just kind of sweet that it tied it all together in kind of a positive way.