Asian elephants are incredibly huge animals.
An adult elephant can be roughly 9 to 11 feet tall. Just standing next to one is pretty intimidating. But imagine being on top of one of them. It would be like if you had an average size man, then another man was standing on the first man’s shoulders. Then you would be sitting on that second man’s shoulders. That’s pretty high up.
For Leilani, it was a dream from her childhood to interact with a full-size Asian elephant. And that’s where she found herself – in Thailand, on a mountain trail, on top of one of those huge animals.
And then things went wrong.
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Full show notes and pictures for this episode are here:
https://WhatWasThatLike.com/211
Graphics for this episode by Bob Bretz. Transcription was done by James Lai.
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Episode transcript (download transcript PDF):
Asian elephants are incredibly huge animals.
An adult elephant can be roughly 9 to 11 feet tall. Just standing next to one is pretty intimidating. But imagine being on top of one of them. It would be like if you had an average size man, then another man was standing on the first man’s shoulders. Then you would be sitting on that second man’s shoulders. That’s pretty high up.
For Leilani, it was a dream from her childhood to interact with a full-size Asian elephant. And that’s where she found herself – in Thailand, on a mountain trail, on top of one of those huge animals.
And then things went wrong.
Scott
This whole story kind of started early on in your life when you were fascinated with a couple of elephants named Bertha and Tina. Can you tell us about that? Is that kind of what sparked this whole thing, right?
Leilani
Yeah, sure. When I was a kid, my adopted mother worked at the Nugget Casino as a payroll clerk, so we spent a lot of time there. We went there all the time. Of course, she loves to gamble, so every chance I could get, I would sneak off to see the elephants, and I just fell in love with them. They were often behind a fence, where they would come out to their habitat where you could view them, and I would just sit there for hours and just watch them and the trainers. First, it was just Bertha, and then Tina came along a little bit later. Then I had two elephants, and I started collecting all things elephants. So, it had been a lifelong dream for me to just be able to interact with them like those trainers.
Scott
They are amazing animals. They really are.
Leilani
Oh my gosh, they’re amazing. When you learn more about them and how sensitive their hooves are and how they communicate to each other through the earth, through their hooves, and also their very nurturing mothering nature and the way the herds work together, it’s just a beautiful way of living. So, I’ve loved them my whole life and I couldn’t wait to one day be able to have an experience like those trainers and interact more intimately with them.
Scott
And you live in the US, right?
Leilani
Correct.
Scott
So you can’t really have an elephant as a pet. It would be, I imagine, probably not even legal, but I’m sure it would be very expensive to feed them.
Leilani
Oh yeah. They eat a ton.
Scott
So what did you do? How did you start to make that happen?
Leilani
It was actually January of 2018 that I decided to book a trip to Southeast Asia. I booked two stops – one in Singapore to stop and visit a girlfriend of mine and her family that were stationed there in the military. Then, her and I would continue on to Thailand for a girls’ getaway. So that was the original plan. I spent hours researching elephant sanctuaries because I wanted to find an experience that was authentic, that was remote, but also, most importantly, ethical, because a lot of elephant sanctuaries have reputations as not actually being sanctuaries. My girlfriend was like, “Yeah, I’m not going to join you because I’ve already been to one of those sanctuaries.” She had gone to one where they put the saddles on them and everything, so she was like, “There’s no way I’m going to do what you’re planning to do.” So I knew I was going to go alone, but I wanted again to find a place that was ethical. So I spent hours researching and I found one that was about an hour outside of Chiang Mai in the mountains. They claimed to rescue elephants from those types of sanctuaries and not use any of their methods, but really just allow them to live in a space free and invite tourists to come and help care for them as part of how they fund their work, their sanctuary.
I found this one after so much time and I was so excited. I booked the trip and we flew out to Singapore and I spent some time there with my girlfriend and her family. Then, we got on a plane and went to Thailand and we were there for a couple of days. So I did get to see a little bit of Thailand.
Scott
That’s not really why you were there though, right?
Leilani
No.
Scott
The person you’re traveling with, what’s her name?
Leilani
Julia.
Scott
Julia. Okay.
Leilani
So we flew straight from Singapore into the Northern part of Thailand, which is where Chiang Mai is, and she and I spent a couple of days touring the temples, eating all the delicious food, which is – if you’re a vegetarian or vegan – the Mecca over there. They have such flavorful food. So we really took in the culture. We took in the scene. Then, the morning of January 26th, we had some breakfast and then she and I went to a spa and had our pedicures done. After our pedicures, I went back to the hotel for them to pick us up in a van – the tour company was picking us up in a van. I was the first one to be picked up. Then, we picked up about three other couples on our way up to the sanctuary. It was about an hour drive, but it was beautiful.
Scott
You went, and Julia stayed behind.
Leilani
Julia did not come. She and I agreed that we would meet back at the hotel by 5.30 because we had plans to attend a dinner and a show with cultural dances and those types of things. So that was the agreement. Off I went, happy as could be, and she was like, “Good luck, girl, because black people don’t do crazy, and I hope I’ll see you back here. But if not, I know what’s happened.” And I took the risk.
Scott
It was you as a single person and then three couples.
Leilani
Correct.
Scott
When you got there, did you have to sign any kind of release for injury or death or anything like that?
Leilani
Yeah, we initially pulled up from the main road into what’s called the parking lot, and it was a parking lot for the elephants and it was a parking lot for us humans. There were like four or five elephants there and they didn’t have any tethers. They weren’t tied to anything. They were just munching and having a good time, and the tourists were leaving and they were happy. I was like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so excited. This is going to be so great!” I was amped. I was ready for my afternoon with the elephants. Then, from the parking lot, we hiked down to the main hut, maybe half a mile, maybe three quarters of a mile, but we hiked down to the main hut and it’s gorgeous. It’s just lush and green and you can smell the flowers everywhere. It’s just epic up there.
You come to the main hut. When you got there, they had somebody there that would help us, that gave us waivers to sign. They also issued us a special shirt and that is what the trainers would wear, so that the elephants would know that we’re trainers or we’re staff to respond to us and to respond to our commands appropriately.
Scott
So they would know they’re safe with you if they see that. Okay.
Leilani
And there really were no fences. They didn’t have the elephants tied up to anything. They had them in the back. It was just very open and they would have huts scattered throughout the property, but they had this one main hut that all of us would come to with some lockers that we could keep our stuff there, wash our hands and take care of all the paperwork. So that’s where we started.
Scott
So the elephants that you saw when you first got there– I mean, I can sense the excitement. I mean, you’re just driving into the parking lot and, all of a sudden, man, there we are with the elephants. Were those the elephants that your group would be riding?
Leilani
No, they were different elephants.
Scott
Oh, because they had just gotten back. So they must rotate them around in between groups. Okay.
Leilani
Yeah. And there’s so many elephants there, so there really wasn’t an issue of seeing the same one over and over again. So, we filled out our paperwork. Then, they brought out an elephant per couple. In my case, I had my own little elephant. My elephant was a juvenile elephant, so it was a little bit smaller. I had a young male who was the trainer who was there with me. We started off feeding the elephants. They gave me this leaf basket with a bunch of treats in it, and he taught me some commands. Then, he took my camera and stepped back and was just taking pictures as I was feeding the elephant and Talking with it. It was about 30 minutes of an interaction and the energy was so good, and the elephant with the tail was just wagging.
Scott
Their tails wag like a dog when they’re happy they’re happy?
Leilani
Yes, their tails wag when they’re happy, and their trunks will just wrap around you. If you drop something, they’ll pick it up and they’ll just play with you. It was about 30 minutes and my trainer was taking pictures. Once they give you the commands, he would just step back, and take pictures and allow me to have the interaction. But I noticed, like, a professional photographer with a really nice camera taking pictures of us, so I was like, “Oh, all right. I signed a waiver, so it’s cool or whatever,” but that was really the only people that were in the vicinity and just me and the elephant interacting. I loved it. It was great. Every time the tail would wag, the kid would be like, “Oh, he likes you, his tail is wagging!” Then, he would flap his ears and then he would say, “Good, keep going!” to encourage me and let me know, like, those are good signs. So it was a great time.
The next part of the adventure is the trainer led the elephant and the elephant would just walk along me right by his side and we all made our way– the four elephants went down to this river, and the river pulled up into this, like, huge lagoon. You went into the lagoon and that’s where we would swim and bathe the elephant. It just opens up into this very expensive view of the jungles and it is a gorgeous view. The river is flowing and the lagoon is huge and deep and not too deep, but you can really play with the elephants and interact. They led us down to the bank of the river and they gave us these– it was like a brush or a broom, but it was made of leaves. So, we brushed the elephants and the dirt off of them using that broom made of leaves.
Then, they led the elephant into the water and then we got to splash around with the elephant, and the elephant would blow water all over everywhere and everybody. It’s big enough of a lagoon that four elephants are in there with that many people and there’s still so much room. So, it was beautiful. It was about 30-45 minutes if you include the time that we were cleaning the elephants off on the bank of the river. Everybody’s having a great time. There were smiles. After we’re done, then we, again, follow the trainer and we all head up with each of our elephants back up to the main hut and we drop the elephants off there.
Then, another one of the staff led us on a short little hike. We went to another little hut. When I say hut, what I mean is, like, a flat platform. It has bamboo flooring. It’s got bamboo poles up, so there’s no walls. It’s got a thatched roof. So we went in and we sat down in the hut. The jungle is all around us and you can just hear the animals. We had some nuts, fruits, and sandwiches, and just chit chatted, got to meet some of the other people there. It was a pleasant time.
Scott
You must at this point be anxious, “Come on, let’s get going. We got to get on the trail!” Right? Were you thinking that?
Leilani
No, I wasn’t, really. I was ready for a break because they’re pretty big beasts. When you’re trying to bathe them and clean them– and I’m old. I don’t have another person to share taking care of my elephant. I’m ready for some rest and some rejuvenation, so I’m really just soaking every experience in because it’s hard to describe how beautiful the setting is with the animals and it being so natural and not forced. It’s just really, like, an organic experience and you just take your time and you can really just enjoy each moment for what it was. And I had been waiting my whole life, so I wasn’t going to skip any part of this. We could have spent a whole hour there feeding the elephant. I would have loved it. So I was just really soaking it in, but I was anxious to get on top. Yes, the whole reason why I specifically picked this elephant sanctuary was because I would be able to ride on an elephant in a way that was ethical.
So we made our way back to the main hut and they let out one elephant at a time. They showed us how to get on top of the elephant. The elephant will kind of bend its leg, so you can step on the knee and then step on the hip and then step on the shoulder and then climb on top and then straddle the elephant. There’s no rope, there’s no tether, there’s no saddle. It’s just you. I saw two couples– they demoed how to do it. Then, I saw two different couples go up with two different elephants and load. So they started going up the trail and it was my turn.
Scott
How nervous were you at that point?
Leilani
I was so nervous because the one that they brought out was bigger. It wasn’t the same elephant that I had interacted with earlier. It was a bigger elephant. So I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is not the same elephant. I don’t know how our energy is going to be.”
Scott
Yeah. Cause you had already kind of established a rapport with the other one, right? The younger one.
Leilani
Exactly. So, I knew that situation was safe and we had good vibes and this one was, like, totally new to me. I didn’t know anything about this elephant. How would they accept me? There’s another couple waiting, so I’m like, “Oh my gosh, it’s go time, girl. Let’s go! Chop chop!”
Scott
This is what you’ve been waiting for.
Leilani
Exactly. So I climbed on top and I got all the way up there. I looked down and I’m like, “Wow, this is high.” And this thing is huge. I have gone horseback riding before, so you get a sense of, like, how that’s going to be, but this is nothing like that. It is so high and the beast is so big. You can just see these little hairs on top of their head and you can’t grab their ears because they’re on the side, and you’re this little person on the top. So that’s when I was really like, “Wow, there is nothing to hold on, and I am really high up here,” but I didn’t listen to that intuitive nudge. I was just like, “It’s go time. Come on, let’s go!”
Scott
Did you feel, like, these people are professionals? If there was a chance of me falling off, they would have already thought of that and taken care of that potential risk, but they do this all the time.
Leilani
And the two elephants with each couple atop their elephants, they were being trainer-led up the trail. We had this little boy trainer that was with me. He was there the whole time. So I was just like, “Oh yeah, the proper safety precautions are being taken. So I’m going to be fine.”
Scott
And you referred to him as a little boy. How old would you say he was?
Leilani
He was probably 14 or 15.
Scott
Wow. Okay. But he’s probably been doing this his whole life.
Leilani
Because the family does own the sanctuary, and I could be wrong, because, again, Asian people are, like, fantastic. Their health and their vitality is fantastic, and they look younger than they really are.
Scott
He could have been 40.
Leilani
Exactly. He was a younger kid in his mid to late teens. So I gave the command and off we went. We jumped right in line with the other elephant, and then they loaded up the elephant behind. All four of us are trudging up this trail alongside the mountain in Chiang Mai. My elephant keeps trying to pass the elephant in front, so he’ll speed up a little bit, but then the elephant in front will move in a way to block him from making much progress. So I’m up there riding pretty high and, every time he does this, I’m like, “Whoa, tiger. Oh my gosh, slow down,” but because that elephant keeps us in check and we stay in line, I relax. I’m like, “Okay, well, this is cool.” We got the hang of it. He’s feeling my vibes. I’m, like, speaking telepathically. He’s getting it.
Scott
And the trail was only wide enough really for a single file, right?
Leilani
So, I’m like, okay, this is safe. We’re good. So I started relaxing and having a good time. I’m smiling. I’m thinking I am on top of the freaking world. This is, like, the pinnacle. This is what I have been waiting for. I am stoked. There comes a point in the trail where it turns left and to the right is the mountain, and there’s a little space there. My elephant starts doing that galloping thing where he tries to go in and I am just thinking that he’s going to be corrected and, like, back off. So I’m just like, “Woohoo! Yippee!” And that is the last thing that I remember. I very vividly remember just taking a deep breath and feeling my body and flicking my eyes open. I saw 6 Asian faces looking down at me. I saw my body. I looked down. I can see my body. I can see I’m in an ambulance. I can hear the sirens going and I am like, “Oh, something happened and their faces are just telling me everything I need to know because a couple of them are, like, moving around and doing stuff, but the ones on my left side are not even trying to make eye contact. They looked really stressed out.
So I start asking, “What happened?” pretty softly and nobody is responding. I look at the photographer. I recognize the photographer and it looks like she has this text bubble over her head, and it says “Oh, shit.” So I look at her and I forcefully say, “What happened?” She says that I fell off. “You fell off the elephant and we’re on our way to the hospital.” I did a body scan. I could feel my body was really heavy. I didn’t know the extent of my injuries. The first thing I did was check my teeth. I checked my teeth and I’m like, “If I can eat, whatever happened to me, I’m going to be okay. My moneymaker, my smile, I can eat, I’m going to be able to handle whatever it is. So just sit back and relax because you have no control over the situation at this point.”
Scott
Did it occur to you that, from the time you fell – and you didn’t even know that you had fallen – there was time for them to react to that and to call an ambulance? In a rural area, it might take a while for the ambulance to get there. Did you think, “Man, I have been unconscious for a while”? Or do you know how long you were unconscious?
Leilani
Yeah, I didn’t think about how long I had been unconscious until after the fact. I just know that I’m in an ambulance and I have no control and I have no idea what’s happened to me. But obviously, I’ve fallen off of the elephant and I just close my eyes, shut out the noise, go within, and just focus on my breathing until we get to the hospital. I asked the lady, the photographer, how much longer until we get to the hospital and she said about 10 minutes out. For the rest of the 10 minutes, I just stayed to myself.
Scott
As an aside, do you do meditation?
Leilani
I do.
Scott
Okay. Because it sounds like those are the practices that you’re employing here to respond calmly to the situation. What did you think your injuries were? Did you have any ideas?
Leilani
I had no idea. And I didn’t want to look at my body. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t move because I didn’t know if I had a neck injury or not. I just did not want to move. The only thing I moved was literally my tongue to assess if I would be able to eat, if I would be able to recuperate from this injury. I didn’t dare move my body. So they wheel me into the ER and there’s a group of people that are there, like, normal clothed people and the hospital staff. They’re already waiting for me. So we get in and one guy steps up and he says, “What can I do? How can I help you?” My friend– I’m not going to make it to dinner and show in this sorry ass condition, so I’m like, “Listen, let my friend at the hotel know that I’m here” and that’s it. They wheeled me into a private room. I can smell my urine, so I know that I have lost a sense of control and I was unconscious for quite some time. This is when I’m like, “Wow, they would have had to bring me all the way down. I don’t know what’s happening.”
I start actually looking at my body as the staff are, working around me. They set me up and I’m looking at my body. It’s a well-lit private room. I take a look at my wrist and my left wrist is grossly malformed. My right wrist and my right elbow are aching but there’s no breaks in the skin in either of my arms. I have pants on, but I don’t feel like anything is broken or smashed there. My ribs– it did hurt to breathe. So I could feel some discomfort there. But there’s blood, so I know that my face has been damaged. They worked around me and I was really uncomfortable. My left wrist was really uncomfortable.
We were waiting for a doctor to come in who could speak English. They had a doctor there, of course, directing the staff around me, but he was speaking Thai. They finally put this contraption that looked like Chinese checkers on my fingertips and it held my fingertips up, and then my arm was loose, and then a band that hung with the weight at the very bottom, hung down for my biceps, and that opened up my wrist, stretched my wrist out so that it could create space and the bones wouldn’t be so smashed. I got so much relief from that contraption being up like that. So it became a little bit easier. I could become a little bit more coherent to what was going on around me.
Julia showed up and just stayed in the corner there. They allowed her to be there, but she just stayed there off in the distance. Then, an English-speaking doctor finally entered the room and he let me know that he was a specialist and he was there to address the most pressing injury, which was my left wrist and that I had three options. One was to have emergency surgery there in Thailand and that the facilities were not like the American hospital. He would pump me full of antibiotics. He would guesstimate the parts they would need to get them, but they had what they had. He was qualified to perform the surgery, but those were his limitations. If I chose to choose option number one and have the surgery in Thailand, it would cost about $4,000 in cash.
Scott
So they would have to order the metal parts or rods or whatever they would have to put in your arm, but they may not get the right parts was his concern.
Leilani
Right. That was his concern and the fact that they wouldn’t have the parts until the next day because it would take some time for them to get what he felt would be the best fit. So that was his main concern there. The second option would be to give me some pain control, get me on a flight with my girlfriend Julia, and get me to Singapore where they had more modern facilities and could do the surgery there. I didn’t know the cost, didn’t know the surgeon, didn’t know anything, a lot of unknowns in that situation, but Julia would be with me to help me get as far as Singapore and get some help and have the surgery there. Option three would be to fly all the way back to America, have some pain meds but the pain meds would wear off on that long of a flight, find a surgeon under my insurance, because I didn’t have travel insurance, and have the surgery back in America. If I went into a hospital with my insurance plan into the ER, then I would have gotten quick surgery. Yeah, it’s an emergency surgery but, again, I wouldn’t know the doctor and he couldn’t give me any guarantees. “In America, this is going to be your chance.
You’re going to get good health care there,” is his assumption. My girlfriend was pushing me to go with option number two.
Scott
Just get to Singapore and hope for the best.
Leilani
I tell her, like, “Step back. I need some space to think about this.” I looked at my wrist and I just know I’m not going to make it that far.
Scott
How long was the trip to Singapore?
Leilani
Two hours. Yeah, two hours on the flight and I just know I’m not going to make it that far. It’s not like they’re going to give me anesthesia. They’re going to give me some oral pain meds, so I just know without that contraption on my wrist, I’m not going to be able to manage my pain with meditation and some pain meds.
Scott
Yeah. On a two-hour flight, it could be an hour in that it starts kicking in and it would not be a pleasant flight for the other passengers to hear you screaming in pain for an hour, right?
Leilani
And the flights are packed. Your arm is messed up. Your other arm is– I had broken my right wrist and my right arm too, but they weren’t in multiple pieces like my left wrist. My face was all banged up and my ribs were bruised up. So it’s not going to be easy to get back to the hotel, get all of our belongings, pack up, get to the airport, go through airport security, get on a flight in a little tiny seat, get two hours to Singapore, then get in a taxi, get to her place. It’s not just a two-hour flight. It’s a lot of prep to get into a place where we can travel and get back to Singapore safely.
Scott
So Julia must have seen your logic behind that, that it wasn’t a good option.
Leilani
She really didn’t have a choice after I told her to, like, step back and leave me alone. She just knew to just zip it and leave me alone.
Scott
Smart move.
Leilani
Yeah.
Scott
So what did you decide to do?
Leilani
So I looked at the doctor and I said, “You’re sure you can do this? You are qualified to do hand surgery?” And he said, “I am. I can do this surgery.” And he’s speaking really good English. He tells me that he was educated in America. He did, like, a residency or something. So I was like, “Okay, then let’s do it.” I just did a gut check and said, “Let’s go for it and hope for the best.” He said okay. So he left and then they had a plastic surgeon come in and stitch up my face.
Scott
What were the injuries to your face?
Leilani
My lip was pretty lacerated and I had bruises and contusions and scrapes all over my face. I didn’t have a break in my scalp, so I didn’t have anything that way. They stitched me up. They cleaned me up. They took me to a private room and I couldn’t wait to get showered and get out of my urine soaked clothes and actually have some time without a ton of stimulation going on around me and really just take a deep breath. Like, all the decisions, all the executive function of my brain, everything I needed– I could just actually sit back and process and take in what’s happened.
Scott
Yeah, and that’s needed after a traumatic event like that. You just got to sit and think about it a little bit.
Leilani
Yeah, I was completely overwhelmed. And knowing that I was going to be having surgery and what I was up against, I needed to prepare for that the next day. So, I needed the mental fortitude to be able to get through that as well. Surgery day, my pain meds wear off before the surgery and They can’t give me any more because of the time slot.
Scott
Wait a minute. I don’t understand. Can you explain that?
Leilani
You can take the pain meds every four to six hours. By this time, the adrenaline is not pumping in my system like it was at first.
Scott
Back to reality now.
Leilani
I’m back to reality and my body is getting back to a more balanced homeostasis, like, natural state. So, I’m really feeling the discomfort and they can’t give me any more pain meds sooner because of the time restriction. I haven’t hit the surgical suite yet, so I don’t have anesthesia on that left wrist. I’m really uncomfortable, so I use meditation and, for the first time, I let myself cry and just really take in, like, this is what it is. They keep me comfortable. I eventually get into the surgical suite, and the anesthesiologist is there. That’s the first time they talked about my brain because, when I came in, they didn’t take any scans of my brain, they didn’t talk about my brain, nothing about my brain. It was just the physical injuries that they wanted to triage and take care of first. So the first time somebody mentions my brain is the anesthesiologist and he tells me, “I can’t put you under general anesthesia because of your brain injury.” So we’re going to have to do local anesthesia.
Scott
So he knew there was a brain injury?
Leilani
Everybody knew there was a brain injury, but it wasn’t what was pressing to anybody there and I didn’t think about it because I can still communicate. I’m still making decisions. In their mind, they’re probably like, “Oh, well, she’s not that bad. She can communicate. Her pupils are dilating. She’s perfect.” I don’t have any lacerations on my skull or anything, so they’re probably thinking, “She’s perfectly fine.” I’m not even considering anything to do with my brain. I can’t feel pain. So I don’t notice that anything is different. So he tells me, “I can’t put you under general. So you’re going to be awake for this surgery. You’re going to hear everything. You’re going to see everything and it’s going to take hours. I’m going to keep you comfortable, but you’re going to be awake.” And so I’m like, “Damn, okay, this is a whole new level that I was not expecting.”
Scott
Here’s the real test of meditation skills.
Leilani
Here’s the real test, exactly. Then he says, “We’re going to actually have to enter in through your left neck, and I’m going to use sonogram technology to help me. I’m going to go through your left neck up at the top here and I’m going to have to go all the way down to the bottom of your clavicle near your brachial plexus, and I’m going to use the sonogram to help guide me, but this is going to be a team effort. You’re going to have to tell me when I’m there. What I mean by that is, you’re going to feel an electrical shock all the way down your arm, and it needs to get all the way to your fingertips, and it’s not going to be comfortable. So you have to be very still. You cannot move at all. When I get there, then you got to tell me when it gets all the way to your fingertips that I’m there, and then I will be able to dispense the medication, and then we’ll be good for the surgery.” So again, I’m like, “Damn. Okay, let’s do this.”
I get myself ready. He goes in and I feel it and I let him know, and he goes, “Are you sure?” “Yes, you’re there.” And he looks at the sonogram. He goes, “No” and he backs out. And I’m like, “Oh God, no.” So he says, “We’re going to do it again. We’re going to have to do it again.” Thank God, the second time takes– because after that first time, I’m like, “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” This is just, again, a whole new level. So, he delivers the medication and it makes me pretty groggy, but I’m kind of in and out of sleep during the surgery, but I can hear everything. I can hear the screws. They have a curtain, so lucky I can’t see them. But I can see 3 people around my wrist working and I can just hear it. It’s a literal drill going, putting these plates and all these screws into my wrist.
Eventually, the surgery ends. They take me to recovery. They take me back to my room and Julia is there in the corner and she’s just silent. She knows to just let me process and let me have my time.
Scott
Yeah. She knows you better than anybody.
Leilani
Yeah. We spent, like, three days total recovery. She came and went. She brought me some stuff and I just spent my time really recovering. I let three people know what had happened. I didn’t let them know the severity of what had happened.
Scott
Who were the three people?
Leilani
They were three friends. One friend was staying with my children, so I let her know, “Hey, I’ve fallen off of the elephant and my stay is going to be a little bit longer. Don’t worry. Everything’s fine. Please tell the kids. Everything’s fine. I just have to extend my stay a few more days and I’ll be home. Everything’s fine.” And so they’re thinking like, okay, “No big deal. She just had this little accident.” They have no concept– nobody in my sphere has ridden an elephant. They have no idea. Then, I tell another friend and she calls and gets my flight rebooked. Then, I tell a third friend who is, like, a mother hen type of all my friends. She fusses and is critical and makes me think about all of these different things that I need because I know that when I step back into the real world, I need some type of transition from being so centered and in this traumatic experience to enter back into the real world and thinking about all that’s going to be coming my way once I do that.
Scott
All your responsibilities.
Leilani
Yeah, so I let them know. I don’t let any of my extended family know. I texted my boss too. I also texted my boss and let him know that I would need some extra days of medical leave, and that was about it. I didn’t let anybody else know. I just stayed to myself and focused on my healing. The owners of the elephant sanctuary stayed in touch. They stayed in touch with the staff. They came by every day to check on me. They brought me a fruit basket, and I couldn’t take it with me on the flight, so I gave it to the nurses. They apologized profusely. When I was in the private room, the man that I initially spoke to when I came into the emergency room came back in to let me know that they were able to reach Julia and that she would be here shortly, and that his family were the owners of the sanctuary and he wanted to personally apologize for everything that happened. He explained that my elephant had been a younger male elephant than the older male elephant that was in front of us, and it became an ego battle. When my elephant tried to pass the older male elephant, when he got to the side of him, he checked him, and off I flew
Scott
Like a hip check.
Leilani
Yeah, and that’s about all he said, other than “We’re really sorry. We’re going to keep close tabs.” So he left. When they took me into the hospital room, that’s the extent of what I knew and that’s when I’m thinking like, “Wow, they would have had to get me down.” I was unconscious at that point, so they would have had to clear that up. They would have had to load me in a van. They would have to bring me down. They would have to meet the ambulance at the city limits because the ambulance is not going to come all the way up in this rural area. So the staff there would have had to make sure that they got me down to meet with the ambulance, so they would have had to load me up in a van. They would have had to bring me back down and then meet up with the ambulance, which is where I woke. So I estimate that I was unconscious for about an hour and a half, an hour and 15 minutes, and that’s just being pretty conservative based on my best guess. So that’s how much I know at that point.
They arranged for a car to pick us up. Me and Julia get on a flight to Singapore and we walk into her house and her husband looks at me and takes a breath like, “Wow, I didn’t know it was that bad. I didn’t know.” I’m like, “Didn’t Julia tell you?” And he’s, “Yeah, she did but she didn’t tell me like this.” So I’m starting to get people’s reactions like, okay.
Scott
I would have thought Julia would tell her husband, “Hey, you’re going to see something pretty bad, but don’t react too badly to it.” She didn’t warn him at all, huh?
Leilani
No, but she did tell him something because I said, “I don’t even know what happened. I have no idea because I haven’t been talking to Julia. I haven’t been talking to anybody. So for the first time, I let them both know that I have no memory of the incident and what I have been told so far. So I go, “I have no idea what happened to me after I fell off that elephant and how I got back into that ambulance,” and he shows me the video of Black Sheep, where Chris Farley takes that gnarly roll down the mountain. Have you ever seen that movie?
Scott
I’ve seen the movie but I don’t remember that scene.
Leilani
Yeah, so he’s up at the top of this mountain and he takes a tumble down. Then, he gets to a cliff’s edge and he’s like, “Oh I made it, I’m fine.” And then that cliff thing falls and he keeps tumbling down and then he grabs onto a vine and he’s like, “Oh, thank God for the vine. I’m safe now.” And then that comes off. So he keeps going and he ends up at the bottom of this mountain, just ate shit. So that’s probably why the other elephants didn’t trample me and I was able to not have those same injuries that everybody else had because the nurse did tell us that I was very fortunate to be alive because most people that fall off of the elephant, they don’t care for them. They end up coming and just going straight to the more downstairs or become paralyzed and they don’t make it to their unit.
Scott
For her to know that, it seems like it must happen on a fairly regular basis.
Leilani
Yeah. Maybe not regular, but enough to know that they know that’s something that they have to be prepared to deal with.
Scott
You weren’t the first.
Leilani
Yeah. I mean, I’m piecing things together. I end up catching an Uber from her place in Singapore to the airport and inch my way back home. People see me and they help me with my luggage and help me with stuff, but I’m really just on my own. I end up having a whole, like, aisle to myself. I lay down and I put my wrist up on the tray and the flight attendants are keeping my ice packs cool and we’re just rotating as they’re helping me to care for my injuries so that I can make it all the way back home. There was an Asian Christian woman who sat next to me on the second leg of my flight back to New Jersey, and she said, “Let me get an Uber with you because I live right next to you,” which God is always in my life. She’s like, “Let me help you get home because I live just down the street from you and we’ll share an Uber and I’ll help you.” So I was like, “Oh, thank you.” So we pull into my apartment and I video call my girls to say, “Hey, can you come out and help me with the luggage?” And my daughter goes, “Damn, what happened to you?”
Scott
You’re just getting reactions from everyone.
Leilani
Yeah. So again, I didn’t share it with anybody, but I know that I look pretty bad.
Scott
Had you seen yourself in a mirror at all?
Leilani
I did see myself in the mirror in the hospital, but I knew what I had been through, so it wasn’t, like, a shock to me.
Scott
Right. You expected something really bad, right?
Leilani
Yeah.
Scott
But you had told them at home, “No big deal.”
Leilani
They had no idea that I had surgery. They had no idea that I had fallen off the elephant. They thought it’s just a minor accident and that I had decided to extend my stay there just to keep playing because I had to take some time to recover and I didn’t get to soak in more of Thailand. So they had no idea that I was coming straight from the hospital in the condition that I was in.
Scott
And that was the whole point. You didn’t want them to worry.
Leilani
Correct. I knew it was bad. I got into therapy. I went to work the next day. My boss looked at me, and he could barely look at me, and the office was silent. Nobody knew how to react to me. He just told me, “Call the doctor and get home and get better.” So I did and I called the doctor and then I went home after work and was on medical leave as I rehabbed it. I had to have surgery multiple times because the parts were too long. During therapy, it ended up severing my tendon to my thumb. So I had to have multiple surgeries to take out the hardware and do repair work on my left hand and wrist. That’s when I saw a neurologist and we took scans and started to take medications and started to treat my brain and work through that long recovery process in New Jersey with American doctors.
It was quite the struggle, because I’m a single mom, and this was before COVID, so delivery was not a thing at that time. I would still need to drive the kids to school and do all the things that I needed to do, and we just made fun of it, just laughed at it. They would call me “T Rex” because I couldn’t take the card. I couldn’t bend my right arm and my left arm was in a cast. My right arm and my right wrist are broken, so I would have to just slide the credit card down the reader using my whole body. I was really busted up. So we got through it. My daughters were there for me. We got through it. They broke the news to my ex-husband and he just kind of laughed it off and said that, when we were in Kauai riding horses, my horse was excited and kept trying to run off then too.
Scott
You have a history of this.
Leilani
And so he kind of laughed it off. And then my extended family in Nevada– I didn’t share the details with them until a few months into the process, because if you grow up in a Polynesian family, you just know there’s no sympathy. There’s no “Oh, sorry for you.” They’re going to laugh at you and they’re going to make fun of you and they’re going to tell you, like, that’s what you get and get better and just expect you to buck up. There’s no sympathy in a Polynesian family.
Scott
That seems like it would just make it worse. Or is that what you expected anyway?
Leilani
That’s what I expected anyways. Yeah, that’s what I expected anyways. When you grow up that way, you just know that’s how it’s going to be. It’s the norm. So you don’t expect anything different.
Scott
You had a traumatic brain injury. What’s that like now? Would you say you’re fully recovered?
Leilani
I would say that my life has actually changed pretty drastically with the multiple surgeries, with dealing with healthcare in the US, and all the drugs that we would try, and all the scans. When it’s a brain injury, there are so many unknowns. You just have no way of treating it. It’s really experimental and you just got to try out and see what works and what doesn’t work. It’s been quite the challenge.
I like to compare it to– when you see Pangaea and how the tectonic plates cause things to shift and then they connect and then disconnect and then come back together, I feel like my life and my journey since falling off the elephant has very much been like that. I live each day like it’s my last day. It’s slowly realigned me, like God has had a hand in my life and I feel like I have been realigned and things that weren’t important shifted out of my life and things that were important shifted in and then I realized, maybe that’s not important, and things shifted. So there’s been a lot of shifting as I’ve learned who I really am. What really matters to me? What are my values? What can I live with? What do I need to be humbled about? What do I need to say sorry for? I’m definitely no angel. So it’s been very much this coming to Jesus type of an experience to really come back to myself and say that life truly is precious. Think about what that means for you. It’s been major shifts externally, but it’s been major shifts internally. I’ve become vegetarian. I’ve made these changes because of my outlook on life and what that means for me and how I want to live out each and every day is very different from the way that I took things for granted before.
I decided I wanted to start a business and I wanted to change the way healthcare operates in America based on what I wanted for myself, and I knew that would benefit other people, and I knew I couldn’t go into a corporate setting anymore. I came up with a different system, which is a cultivation of all 26 years of my time in healthcare. Being in that vulnerable place myself, it just really put me in that place where God was like, “What are you going to do with this knowledge now? What would you want for yourself and how could you be of service to other people?” So I am building this business now where I’m focusing on consulting for healthcare that is ethical, that puts people first, and I’m trying to find and link up with the community of providers that are not going to be upcoding E&M, that are not going to be out here unbundling facial reconstructions or making excuses for “I’m not going to give them this 15 treatment of sodium or silver diamine fluoride (SDF) because they’re not going to like that black dot on their tooth when We both know that black dot is better than the filling or the crown or the root canal that you’re trying to pitch them in your treatment plan. I just can’t live that way anymore. So those are the types of providers that I’m aligning myself with.
Even if you have a past, I’ve had a past but– this system is going to work if you’re ready to start practicing ethically to really make things better for practices and for patients without it being revenue-centric, and then branching out into travel advisory because health care in America is not always the best option. There are a lot of places around the globe that have excellent aftercare at a fraction of the cost, and then also, with public speaking and raising awareness about people with accessibility issues, people with brain injuries, and just human rights in general.
I’m just speaking for myself because I can only take accountability for my choices before the fall and who I was before and the person that I became after. It sounds crazy to say, “Oh, I’m glad I fell off that elephant.” I would never blame the elephant. Let’s just get that squared off right off the bat. It was me. It was my dream to be in that place and to be in a place that was authentic, that didn’t have the ropes and the harnesses and the saddles, and didn’t have the use of picks and all that stuff. It was my choice to be there. SoI understand that part. The recovery part– of course, that’s not an easy thing, but the growth that has happened within me has been awesome and, again, it’s been very humbling.
Scott
Well, it’s always good to hear– I mean, we have a lot of traumatic stories on here, but it’s always good to hear when that comes out as a positive in the end.
Leilani
Yeah.
Scott
Sounds like that’s what’s happening here. Does your new company have a website?
Leilani
I will send that to you and send you all of my social links and the website and everything up so that, if there’s anybody out there that needs some travel or you need some consulting in fraud, waste, and abuse or get your documentation, anything like that, these are the issues that really matter to me and I am uniquely positioned to help some people out. So I’ll send that all over to you and then we’ll share that with the audience. That would be great, Scott.
Scott
We’ll put all of that in the episode notes so that people can check that out and get in touch with you if they need help.
Leilani
Thanks.
Scott
Thanks for coming on and sharing your story. It’s pretty crazy, but I’m glad it’s working out for you.
Leilani
Thank you. I love you. I love everybody. Thank you guys for being here.
Scott
You can see pictures of Leilani and the elephants in the episode notes at WhatWasThatLike.com/211.
As I was putting this episode together I was thinking about whether or not I would ever want to ride on an elephant, if that opportunity ever came up. And I don’t think I would. And I would be kind of split on the reasoning behind that.
Part of it would be because of my love for animals, which is why I’m vegan. I definitely don’t EAT any animal products. As far as riding animals, I’m certainly not going to judge anyone who wants to do that. Especially in this case, where Leilani tried to do her homework and find a place that treats the elephants fairly. And I know, there are some who say making them do anything at all is exploiting the animal, and I get that and it’s a fair point. But at the place she went to, it sounds like the elephants at least have a reasonably peaceful existence.
But the other thing for me is the thing that Leilani noticed – when you’re up there, you’re really high up and you’ve got nothing to hold on to, to try and keep your balance and not fall off. I think that would probably be a no-go for me, just for that reason.
What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – call in the Podcast Voicemail line at 727-386-9468. You can call anytime night or day and leave a message, and I’ll probably play it on a future episode.
This past Friday we had the second installment of a new type of episode we’re doing. These are called Scott Tells a Story. They’re just short episodes that come out on the off-weeks in between the other regular What Was That Like episodes. So you’ll still get a brand new episode with a guest telling a crazy story every other Friday. And so far, these short story episode, with just me telling a story, has had 100% positive response. So I’m planning to continue that, and they’ll usually be about once a month.
Our Facebook question this past Tuesday was: What’s one of the stupidest things you’ve ever done? Obviously everyone has done something stupid – and some of these things are pretty entertaining. If you want to share yours, or just see what stupid things other people have done, come on over and join us at WhatWasThatLike.com/facebook.
Graphics for this episode were created by Bob Bretz. Full episode transcription was created by James Lai.
And it’s time for the Listener Story! This is just a short audio story, like 5-10 minutes, and it’s how we end every episode. If you have a story you’d like to share, find a quiet place and record it on your phone. Then, email it to Scott@WhatWasThatLike.com.
This week’s story is about seeing someone fall out of a car – while it was moving.
Stay safe, and I’ll see you next time.
(Listener Story)
I’m 68 years old. I don’t feel old but, I guess, when I was born, there were only 48 states in the United States. Hawaii and Alaska didn’t come around till 1959 but my point is seat belts in cars didn’t become mandatory till 1968. I was 11 years old at that time. My dad had a Ford Country Squire station wagon. All nine of us kids would be piled in there – most of us in the back cargo area. Whenever he wanted to quiet things down in the car, he would tap the brakes and we would all lunge forward and bump our heads, I guess, and that would quiet everybody down. But this experience has to do with my cousin, John.
Now, Aunt Jane was driving her station wagon and she was going down the highway, and she was speeding. She says she remembers even being concerned, looking out for police that she wouldn’t be stopped for speeding. My cousin John was in the back seat of the station wagon. He was only three or four years old. Of course, no car seat, no seat belts. He decided he was going to try opening the door, which he did. My aunt said she just heard the car door open and closed, looked back and, going down the road 70 miles an hour, her son, John, was out of the car. Well, she panicked. She pulled over to the side of the road and went back, expecting to find the worst, and here’s my cousin, John, at three or four years old, running after her down the side of the road saying, “Mom, don’t leave me! Mom, don’t leave me!”
Well, she scooped him up, took him to the hospital, and the doctor said, “Well, he’s got a couple of scrapes, but no broken bones. You might as well just take him home.” So, I guess when you’re three or four, your bones are a little bit more flexible, you bounce a little bit better than you do when you get older. We often relate that story about my cousin John. I guess it might have rattled his thyroid because he grew up to be six foot six inches tall. But, other than that, he’s normal.