I want to tell you about my friend Larry.
Larry is pretty well known in the podcast world as a content creator, a consultant, and a subject matter expert for journalists. I’ve seen lots of times where he’s appeared on local and national TV shows, talking about podcasting as well as AI – he’s been on the forefront of how to use AI for personal and business productivity. And he’s been a sought-after keynote speaker at lots of organizations where he talks about these things.
A few years ago, Larry and I were in Los Angeles during a podcasting conference. One evening during that week there was a big podcast awards show, and there was an after party. I don’t usually go to those things, but for some reason I was there. It was a private party but lots of people were there and it was on a rooftop bar, I don’t even remember the name of it. Of course the music was loud, and you would never guess who the DJ was – Paris Hilton. It was pretty crazy.
And of course I would see Larry every year in January in Orlando, at the conference called Podfest.
But this past January I didn’t see Larry. I didn’t know why he wasn’t there, and honestly I didn’t think about it a lot. It’s always a busy week and there are a couple thousand people there. But what I didn’t know was that Larry was in rehab at that time. He was trying to overcome Alcohol Use Disorder. Maybe better known as alcoholism.
Larry’s life is very different now. His addiction to alcohol means he no longer has his business, his house, his cars, his wife – all gone. He’s working on his comeback now, and he told me the whole story which you’re about to hear. I also need to include a content warning for discussion of suicide.
What Larry didn’t know at the time was – when he missed that Orlando conference because of being in rehab – he had not yet reached his rock bottom.
If you’d like to contact Larry or follow his journey:
Instagram: @thelarryroberts
Facebook: @thelarryroberts
website: https://LarryRoberts.com
Full show notes and pictures for this episode are here:
https://WhatWasThatLike.com/263
Graphics for this episode by Bob Bretz. Transcription was done by James Lai.
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Episode transcript (download transcript PDF):
I want to tell you about my friend Larry.
Larry is pretty well known in the podcast world as a content creator, a consultant, and a subject matter expert for journalists. I’ve seen lots of times where he’s appeared on local and national TV shows, talking about podcasting as well as AI – he’s been on the forefront of how to use AI for personal and business productivity. And he’s been a sought-after keynote speaker at lots of organizations where he talks about these things.
A few years ago, Larry and I were in Los Angeles during a podcasting conference. One evening during that week there was a big podcast awards show, and there was an after party. I don’t usually go to those things, but for some reason I was there. It was a private party but lots of people were there and it was on a rooftop bar, I don’t even remember the name of it. Of course the music was loud, and you would never guess who the DJ was – Paris Hilton. It was pretty crazy.
And of course I would see Larry every year in January in Orlando, at the conference called Podfest.
But this past January I didn’t see Larry. I didn’t know why he wasn’t there, and honestly I didn’t think about it a lot. It’s always a busy week and there are a couple thousand people there. But what I didn’t know was that Larry was in rehab at that time. He was trying to overcome Alcohol Use Disorder. Maybe better known as alcoholism.
Larry’s life is very different now. His addiction to alcohol means he no longer has his business, his house, his cars, his wife – all gone. He’s working on his comeback now, and he told me the whole story which you’re about to hear. I also need to include a content warning for discussion of suicide.
What Larry didn’t know at the time was – when he missed that Orlando conference because of being in rehab – he had not yet reached his rock bottom.
Scott
Larry, thanks for coming on the show!
Larry
Hey, Scott. Appreciate the opportunity, man. I’ve always had a ton of respect for you and the show, and it’s an honor to be here, so thank you once again.
Scott
Thank you.
Scott
You had a period of time in your life where you were sober for 12 years. What happened just before that 12-year stretch of time that caused you to make the decision to be sober?
Larry
“I had reached my limit” would be the answer there. My wife and I, we both drank to blackout and pass out every night, and we did that for several years. And honestly, I was a late bloomer when it came to drinking. I didn’t start drinking till I was about 30, maybe 31 even, because I was so focused on some training that I used to do that it just didn’t mix with alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, I’d occasionally have a beer or something, but I never drank to excess and I never even got drunk. I’d just hold a beer at a cookout or something. But we had a family tragedy after about three years of being married – my wife and I – and that family tragedy– we were already drinking and partying and closing down this local English pub nearly every night, but we weren’t drinking to blackout. But then this family tragedy took place, and that escalated the drinking. Trying to numb the pain of this family tragedy with alcohol and it worked for a few years. I think we did that for about 9 years, and then it finally started getting out of hand about two years before I made the decision to go into rehab in 2012.
Scott
So you were in rehab for seven weeks, and did you feel like, yep, it worked?
Larry
Yeah. I thought I was ready to go. I’ve been doing daily videos on all the platforms about my sobriety journey, and I’ve got one planned that’s coming up that’s called “I Regret My 12 Years of Sobriety.” And because I did that seven-weeks, even though I did not have a good relationship with my therapist– the facility was amazing. The grounds were amazing. You had your own little individual cabin. I mean, as far as accommodations go, it was top of the line. It was amazing. Had to sign an NDA because certain celebrities and government officials would come through there from time to time, and you weren’t allowed to – probably still ain’t allowed to – say who they were. But that was great. So I came out and I was actually going to leave after six weeks.
My wife came and got me, and we went into town and we had ourselves a little lunch just to kind of give me a feel of what life outside of rehab and being sober felt like. I was really paranoid and I was really– I wouldn’t say I was intimidated, I just didn’t like all the noise. We often refer to rehab as being in a bubble, and it’s easy to stay sober in a bubble because you don’t have access to it. Don’t get me wrong, some people get creative and they do whatever they need to do to get their substances in but, honestly, it’s easy to stay sober in the bubble. But I got outside that bubble for the first time and I was overwhelmed. That’s the word I was looking for. So although I knew my wife wasn’t going to like it, I said, “I need another week.” And the reason I knew she wasn’t going to like it was because, at this particular facility, you pay out of pocket first and then you chase the insurance yourself, and that was a nightmare, and we didn’t get back the vast majority of the money we spent to put me there in the first place.
On the flip side, while I was still in there, she got sober as well with no help, with no rehab, with no therapy. She quit cold turkey. And we drank not quite the same amount. I’d sneak some in in the middle of the night, sneak some in in the morning before we go to work. She wasn’t doing that, to my knowledge, but we were still drinking ourselves till we passed out every night, and she got sober once again with no additional assistance.
Scott
So that seven weeks seems like it worked because you were sober for 12 years.
Larry
Yeah, it worked. And I think it made me a little arrogant, a little cocky when I had my relapse initially about two and a half years ago after 12 years of sobriety. And again, there’s no therapy, there’s no long-term care, there’s no what they call PHP, which is a lower level of care than what I’m in now. Then, you step down to IOP, which is intensive outpatient, and it goes from a five-day IOP to a three-day IOP. So they slowly step you down in long-term care. Even then, after that, you’re supposed to maintain your sobriety in some way, whether that’s with meetings or with a community of like-minded individuals, whatever it may be. Most are going to tell you that meetings are the way to go, but I did none of that over those 12 years. I walked in, got sober, got out, and just crushed life for 12 years straight.
Scott
And then just this past holiday season, Christmas Eve 2025, what happened that night? That was the final straw, right?
Larry
I’m just going to tell you the facts. Now, I don’t typically share this part of the story, but my relapse was actually about two and a half years ago, and I was what you would call “in control of my drinking.” But they say alcohol is a progressive disease, and I’m here to testify that it is a very progressive disease, because while it took me, we’ll say, 11-12 years before I went to rehab after I started drinking. I was in rehab, as you just said, Christmas Eve of ’25, about a year and a half after my initial relapse. But things really went haywire about mid-September of last year, and I just lost total control, and I’d just given up on trying to quit. I’d already been kicked out of my house. I’d already messed up with a bunch of clients because I was just ignoring their needs and putting my alcohol before everything.
On Christmas Eve day, I actually reached a point where I had got my pistol and I set it on my thigh. I took a picture of my pistol on my thigh because I was angry at this point because I’d given up and I was trying to drink myself literally to death, but I kept waking up, and I would be so angry when I woke up. I’m like, “How much do I have to drink to not wake up?” In a drunken stupor – what I call my drunken wisdom – it was a cry for help, and I took a picture of that. I sent it to a mutual friend of ours. I sent it to some other folks in the Dallas area as well, and then I passed out before doing anything stupid, thankfully.
I was woken up by this couple that are great friends of mine, and they’d never been to my apartment. I don’t even think they’d ever talked to my wife at the time, but somehow, some way, after receiving that photo, they arranged for me to go to treatment. They arranged for the insurance to be handled with my wife, and they drove over, found my apartment, got the management to let them in the apartment, peeled me up off the floor and took me to Santé, so my first trip to Santé was Christmas Eve of last year.
Scott
Wow. There’s some friends right there.
Larry
They’re amazing. I can never say enough about– I’m just going to name them because they deserve it. Karen and Jason Gray were the couple that helped me out. They’ve given me permission to share their involvement in my story, so I’m not doing anything that I shouldn’t be doing there.
Scott
They got that picture and they didn’t know what they were going to walk into when they came into your apartment.
Larry
No, they could’ve walked into a really rough scene, and that’s putting it lightly – calling it rough – but yeah, they jumped into action. I don’t know how many hours it was because, again, I passed out shortly after sending that picture. And needless to say, Jason, being a former police officer and a huge gun fan, took all my firearms. [chuckles] And they still have them today. So they’re tucked away in one of their gun safes at the house and they took me to rehab. They drove me all the way to the facility.
Scott
And that place is called Santé?
Larry
Yes.
Scott
Okay. What was your mindset going back into rehab again?
Larry
My mindset was I’ve got to get sober initially. But then, as soon as I went through detox and I was thinking clearly again and I wasn’t going through some of the physical ailments that you go through when you drink excessively like standing over the sink for hours and hours at a time, dry heaving, and nothing coming up but bile. I was just thankful at the time to be beyond that. But then, once I got to thinking clearly, I got pretty cocky, I got arrogant, and I was not the nicest person on my first trip there. I thought, “Well, I’ve done this before. No big deal. I did seven weeks, got out, everything was great for 12 years.” And I figured, “At my age, if I get another 12 years, I’m going to be lucky anyhow, so let’s just knock this out. We’ll call it a day.” And yeah, it didn’t even come close to working for 30 days. So I got out and relapsed within about two weeks.
Scott
Two weeks. You were sober for two weeks, and then you went on a seven-week stretch of– I mean, what would you call it other than self-destruction?
Larry
Yeah. Unimaginable levels of self-destruction. I think that nails it totally because, over that seven weeks, I literally ate almost nothing. I ate five cups of noodles – the little cup of noodles you buy, little ramen noodles – and that’s all I had to eat for seven weeks. Personal hygiene out the window. I took two showers over seven weeks. Again, trying to just go, “Man, I’ve lost it, and there’s no hope. Let’s just drink until we check out.” It got so super excessive that I did all this with DoorDash, so I didn’t drink and drive, thankfully.
I would order DoorDash. I remember one morning during those seven weeks, I got up, because you can only buy alcohol after 10 o’clock in Texas. So I’m laying there every morning just staring at that clock, just watching it tick down, tick down, tick down, 10 o’clock, bam, hit DoorDash. I had ordered from this one place that I typically order from, and this is going to be about, I don’t know, almost an hour before they deliver it, and I’m like, “No, that’s not soon enough.” So I went back to DoorDash, I found another delivery, and they’re going to be there in about 40 minutes, and I’m like, “No, they can do it faster than that.” So I found another one. This is all at the same time. When I find somebody that’ll deliver it in 20 minutes, I’m like, “Shit yeah, I’m in.”
I was ordering the Party Buckets of Fireball at the time. There’s 20 shots in these Party Buckets and it was funny and it was embarrassing at the same time because, literally, all three drivers showed up simultaneously. So I’ve got three people standing there wanting to scan my ID because, if you buy alcohol on DoorDash, they have to scan your driver’s license. As they were all waiting their turn and they were all three right there handing me Party Buckets– I had three Party Buckets, 60 shots of Fireball, and I really only wanted the 20.
Scott
And it’s like 10.30 – 11.00 in the morning.
Larry
Yeah.
Scott
This is a seven-week period.
Larry
Yeah.
Scott
You didn’t work.
Larry
No.
Scott
What did you fill your time with?
Larry
Alcohol.
Scott
So you were just drunk the whole time?
Larry
The whole time. And if I wasn’t drunk, I was suffering. Even when I was drunk, it got to the point where I was still suffering because, typically, as an alcoholic, you need that initial shot or two or three to get the shakes under control, to get the nausea to go away, and that sort of thing, but it got to a point where none of that really went away. The nausea and the vomiting was instant as soon as I took a shot. I knew the first one or two were going to come right back up, but the third one would start leveling things out. But again, it got to the point where I had to get to 6, 7, 8 shots before things started leveling out. So honestly, what I did was I went from sitting in my chair in the living room to– I had this modular couch/bed thing that I’d bought off Amazon that I slept on. Sometimes I’d want to lay down, sometimes I’d want to sit up, and I went back and forth between those two. I was on my phone. I was watching either TikTok or Reels until my phone died. Then I’d charge my phone, and I’d watch YouTube. That’s it. That’s all I did. I just repeated that for seven weeks straight.
Scott
You must’ve lost some weight.
Larry
I lost a ton of weight. I lost about 35-40 pounds. I checked into Santé the second time, weighed in at, I want to say, 223, something like that, and I’m usually a 250-ish guy, sometimes 255.
Scott
Because you’re tall.
Larry
I’m tall too, yeah. But considering my height, I was emaciated. My clothes didn’t fit. I couldn’t find anything to wear because everything was too big, but I didn’t even realize that while I was in that seven-week period because you don’t care and you’re most likely– or at least I was. I was wearing my pajamas, which is an elastic pair of basketball shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt. So that’s what I stayed in. You just don’t even realize that you’re losing that weight. You know in your mind that you’re sicker than you’ve ever been, and there’s a great opportunity here for you not to wake up the next day. You know that. You’re cognizant of that, but everything else just doesn’t matter.
I’d gone out and bought groceries after getting out of Santé the first time, and I bought all this Cat Daddy stuff, some steaks, some pork chops, some vegetables, and all my favorite stuff, right? All of it went to waste because I relapsed and didn’t care. I didn’t want to use it. I blew a couple of hundred dollars worth of food because I just didn’t care. You don’t care about anything. All you care about is not feeling bad, and there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s nothing you can do about it. Once you reach that point, it’s kind of a point of no return.
Scott
Yeah. And people that haven’t experienced that probably won’t– they would have a hard time– I’m having a hard time understanding it.
Larry
Oh, sure. Because they go, “Well, why didn’t you just quit?”
Scott
Of course. Easy solution.
Larry
That’d be awesome. And that goes back to your previous question of why do you regret those 12 years of sobriety? Because it gave me a mindset that I could go in, I could handle this, and then go out and be sober for another 12, 13, 14, 15 years, whatever it is. I’m going to go in, I’m going to kick the shit out of it and come out and I’m going to be clean, but that’s just not the way it works because, again, alcohol is progressive. Alcohol, it gets a hold of you, and it never goes away. You might be sober, but that addiction is still there, that addictive, obsessive mental quality that you possess, that you were lucky enough to be born with, it’s just there, and it’s waiting, and it’s waiting, and it’s waiting, and then bam, it hits you before you know it, and you’re off to the races.
Scott
This seven-week stretch, that happened earlier this year, right?
Larry
Yeah. That was March-ish.
Scott
Okay. I’m just sitting here thinking– I mean, you and I have known each other for a long time. And in March, I’m just here in Florida doing my thing, working, making podcasts, playing with my dogs – life is regular – and you’re going through this at that same period in Texas. I would’ve flown out to help you. Nobody had any idea this was going on, right?
Larry
No.
Scott
Maybe some people that you were in touch with regularly did, and all of a sudden you weren’t available or something.
Larry
Well, you saw I wasn’t at PodFest in ’26. I wasn’t there in January because that was my first trip to Santé. I was still there.
Scott
Yeah. And when you’re going through that, you don’t even have it in your mind to reach out to people. You don’t want people seeing you like that, of course.
Larry
You actually isolate. One of the side effects of being an alcoholic is isolation. People would call me, and I would just ignore their calls. I’d see who it was, and I’m like, “ugh,” even though they’re one of my best friends in the world. Our mutual friend would call, ignore. My own personal friends would call, and some other mutual friends would call, and ignore, ignore. I’m not answering that. I’m not answering that. I wouldn’t call anybody. It was pure isolation.
Scott
So getting close to the end of that seven weeks, what was your mindset? You had pretty much given up, right?
Larry
Oh, I’d 100% given up, and I knew that it’s either tonight or tomorrow night, I’m not waking up because, as we’d already talked about, I lost a ton of weight. I physically could not walk. I was crawling through my apartment to get where I needed to be. I didn’t necessarily have control of all my bodily functions, so that was interesting. And obviously, I was filthy. I took two showers the whole time. The only reason I took the second shower is because I was going back to Santé, and that happened by– some people say it’s by chance, but I think it’s a God thing, honestly, or a higher power thing, or however you understand your God or God.
Scott
How did that happen?
Larry
It happened at the end of that seven-week bender. The phone rang, and I just happened to look at it and go, “Who’s calling now?” I saw it was Santé and they were just calling to check on me, just doing a follow-up check. “How are you doing these days, Larry? I hope you’re still doing great.” And I said, “Well, no, I’m not. I’m about to die, and I need some help.” And the lady was like, “Well, do you want to come back in?” I said, “Most definitely. That’d be amazing if I could come back.” And she goes, “Well, it’s going to be two to three days before we have a bed ready for you.” And I said, “Then don’t worry about it because I’m not going to be here in two to three days.” So she goes, “Okay. Let me see what I can do.” And she hangs up. 20, 30 minutes later, she calls back. “All right. We’ve made some arrangements. We’ve got a bed for you. Come on back.” So I tried to begin to pack but, as I said, I was crawling through my apartment, so that was a bit of a chore. Plus, I’m nauseous. Plus, I’m dizzy. I’m drunk.
I’m just in the worst of the worst shapes, but I managed to call Karen again, said, “Karen, I know I’ve been hiding, I know I’ve been isolating.” She goes, “I know. I know. You’re drinking, aren’t you?” I said, “Yes, ma’am, I am, but I got to ask a favor. Will you come get me and take me back to Santé?” And she was like, “Yes, I’ll be right there.” She said, “I got to handle this, this, this, but then I’ll be there.” I’m like, “All right, cool.” So I managed to get packed up before she got there, and my second shower was right before she got there. I crawled into the bathtub, turned on the shower, and just kind of slapped some soap on me and tried to smell as clean as possible, but it wasn’t the most effective measure on my part.
She came and got me, took me back to Santé, and they wouldn’t admit me. They wouldn’t admit me because I was so far gone, and my vitals were so off the charts that they didn’t feel comfortable bringing me in, so they sent me directly to the hospital. I went to one of their hospitals that they work with there in the North Texas area, and was there for a couple of days probably, something like that.
Scott
Just to get stable.
Larry
Just to get stable, yeah. Get my heart rate down because my heart rate was up in the 120s. My blood pressure was off the freaking charts. It was just bad. Again, emaciated, malnourished, dehydrated, everything you can possibly imagine. So, I went to the hospital, they got me stable, they sent me back to Santé, and then they brought me in as a patient. And about a day later, they’re like, “Dude, we don’t know what to do, so we’re going to send you back to the hospital.” So I went back to the hospital, hung out there for another day or two, and then went back to Santé and finished up my detox in their detox facility. This time was a bit different. Like I said, the first time I went on Christmas Eve, I went in cocky, arrogant. I was a complete asshole to the staff. I just knew I had this thing beat. It’s like, “You’re wasting my time. Just give me what I asked for. Otherwise, F off.” You know what I mean? So I had a reputation going back the second time as not being the most cordial individual they’ve ever had there at Santé.
Scott
These people are thinking, “Oh, man, he’s coming back.”
Larry
“He’s back. Oh, this is going to be fun.” Immediately after getting out of detox, I went and apologized to every staff member there, whether I had an encounter with them or not. They have staff meetings and all the staff knows what goes on, so I wanted to give a personal apology to everybody, every nurse, every tech, every housekeeper, everybody, all the therapists. I wanted to personally apologize to all of them for my behavior. That set the framework or the foundation for a more successful attempt this second time.
Scott
Yeah, you wanted to do it right this time.
Larry
Yeah. I went in very humble, very open-minded – open mind, open heart, that sort of thing – and it went great. I participated in every class. I don’t think I ever missed a class during– and this was for 57 days. I don’t believe I ever missed a class unless there was something else that was going on that I had to attend to, whether it was a therapy session or something like that. Did every assignment that came from whoever – I didn’t care who it came from – and I was doing so well, the director of the facility started working with me individually and I was getting assignments from him as well as my therapist, and I’d turn them over in 24 hours. I was just on top of everything and just invested in everything. So I knew this time I had it right, man. I was there 57 days, as I mentioned. The program, to get completed, is typically 60 days. I came in three shy, but I still got treatment complete. So I got my little certificate that’s suitable for framing and my nice little coin that says I graduated.
Scott
And so when you went there, you were living in an apartment prior to this, but you were in rehab for almost two months.
Larry
Mm-hmm.
Scott
What happened to your apartment?
Larry
I abandoned it. Now, I paid through my lease, but everything that was in it, I just said, “Fuck it. You can have it. No, I’m not going back for it.” I didn’t want to go back to the apartment because the apartment represented all the negative emotions and negative feelings that led to me relapsing in the first place. I’ve never been alone in my life, and being separated from my wife had a very traumatic effect on me. We’ve been together 26 years come August 19th. Prior to that, I would just, I call it, “going from one tree branch to another,” because I always had somebody lined up before I let go of the other one. You know what I mean? But I didn’t have anybody lined up. That wasn’t my goal. I had no intention of ever leaving. But for her own sobriety – and she’s still sober today, she hasn’t had any relapses, and again, she quit cold turkey – she kicked me out because I was a threat to her sobriety. Her comeback story is amazing because she’s so mentally tough and she inspires the hell out of me because she did it all on her own, she just made a decision, and I envy her.
Scott
Yeah. But not everybody can do that, though. That’s great for her, but it doesn’t work for everybody, though.
Larry
Yeah, exactly. That’s a big factor in your recovery journey as well. You’re thinking that I can do it. They did it this way. I can do it too. It’s just not the case. That’s not how recovery works. Recovery is a unique journey for everyone.
Scott
So you completed rehab, but you didn’t go back to your apartment. Where did you go?
Larry
I found an Airbnb because, while I was at Santé, they have different tiers of patients and you earn extra privileges as you progress the tiers, and I hit level three, which is the highest level you can reach. With that comes some opportunities to maybe get your laptop, maybe get your cellphone, maybe make some arrangements for when you leave. So they let me have my laptop for a little bit, and I found an extended stay Airbnb and reached out to the lady, and the ad clearly said, “No drugs, no alcohol. It’s a Christian home.” And I said, “Well, I just completed treatment at Santé. I’m not an alcoholic, so that’s not going to be a problem.” So I secured that. It was amazing. Beautiful home, perfect room. She’s sweet as can be. Still talk to me today. But yeah, it didn’t work out.
Scott
And what brought about the next relapse?
Larry
The next relapse came about because, emotionally, I was still not right. I was still struggling with anxiety, still struggling with loneliness, still struggling with, I don’t know, a sense of abandonment or not being enough because I was alone. I’m 53 years old, about to be 54, and here I am sitting in a bedroom that I’m renting from someone when, prior to that, I had the coolest cars, coolest truck, beautiful home, two awesome dogs, a wife. It wasn’t a white picket fence, but it was a stained fence that looked cool. I had it all. I had all the things you’re supposed to have. I had a good credit score – it was way up there – and all the things you’re supposed to have at my age, and I sold it all out for alcohol.
As I sat there, I can remember I was sitting on the bed and was just thinking, “Dude, look at everything you’ve lost.” And honestly, I’ve since come to the realization since being here in San Diego that I didn’t lose anything. I gave it away. I willingly gave everything away. I gave away the house. I gave away the wife. I gave away the dogs. I gave away the cool cars. I gave it all away for alcohol, and it just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. I sat there and thought about that, and I just sat there going, “Man, I lost all this. I lost this. I lost that. I lost my clients.”
I lost half of my other business because I had another business called Branded that was with a mutual friend of ours as well. She had told me that if I drink again, that we were going to separate the business. She was going to get full access to the business, and I wouldn’t have any rights to the brand or the name or anything. And so we pulled up a contract, and of course, I signed it. Oh, yeah. Cool. It’s great. A couple of days later, I called her drunk. She goes, “You’re drunk, aren’t you?” I go, “Yep.” She goes, “Okay.” Click. By the next day, there was a dissolution agreement in my inbox. So, I lost a business.
Scott
But you’re right, though. I can see when you say, “I lost this, I lost that,” that sounds like it’s passive, like it happened to you. But giving it away, that’s active. You did that.
Larry
Yeah, I did it. I gave everything away for free. It was just, “Here, take it,” just like abandoning the apartment. I love tennis shoes, and my tennis shoe collection was over there. Clothes were over there. All my podcasting equipment and recording stuff was all over there, my lights, everything. And I just said, “Fuck it. You can have it.” And that’s the drunken wisdom that hits you. But I was sitting there on that bed going through all the things that I had “lost” and man, I just started boo-hooing and, before you know it – I’m sober at this point – I drove to the liquor store.
The liquor store is like a mile away from this Airbnb, and it was about a quarter mile away from my house where my wife is still at. That was what made it so convenient, too. I’m like, “No way. It’s literally a quarter mile away.” Because we’ve tried getting back together over the last two and a half years, multiple times, and of course, I ruined every one of them. We had the best opportunity to get back together when I was sitting here on this bed in this Airbnb having this pity party than we’d ever been on because she knew I graduated from Santé. She knew I put in the work. She knew how good I did. But yeah. So I drove that mile to the liquor store, got 10 Fireball shots.
The little old lady that owned the house, she’s a realtor also, and she was out showing houses or something, so she wasn’t there, so I snuck it in the house and went at it. And that happened for a couple of days, and then, I don’t know why, I guess she was home is probably why, I decided that I’d go out to the car and drink because I didn’t have an opportunity to sneak anything in because she’s up and moving all over the place. So I thought, well, I’ll just go out in the car and get a buzz and drink three or four or five, and then I’ll go back in. Well, it didn’t work that way.
Before you know it, I woke up in jail, and I’m like, “Oh my God, why am I here? Where am I and why am I here?” Well, it turns out I’d been in the car for a very, very long time and, if you look over in the passenger seat, there’s probably 12 to 15 empty shot bottles of Fireball. A neighbor had gotten concerned that maybe I stroked out or something in the car and called for a welfare check. They came, they saw the open containers. The car was running. I had not driven. I didn’t go anywhere. I wasn’t driving. I was just sitting in the car, but it doesn’t matter if you’re in the car or the car’s on and there’s open containers in the car. It’s a DUI. So I snagged my first DUI even though I wasn’t driving, but it’s the same thing. It carries the same consequences. When it comes down to the punishment phase of it, I may get off a little lighter than some, but it’s still a DUI. It’s going to have long-lasting residual effects.
Scott
Yeah, you’ll be dealing with that for a little while, too. How long were you in jail?
Larry
Oh, just overnight. Just not quite 24 hours. But I had to sober up and they breathalyzed me every couple hours. I had to hit a zero before they pulled me out of the individualized detox tank, which there’s no mattress in there. It’s just concrete and a concrete bench, and that wasn’t fun. Then, they stuck me in a regular cell and with a few other guys, and then shortly after that, I bailed out.
Scott
So you went back to the Airbnb.
Larry
Yes.
Scott
And you have to somehow talk to the owner there, this woman.
Larry
I have to salvage this relationship with this little old lady and maintain a place for me to rest my head. She originally wanted me gone, understandably. The ad specifically said no alcohol, and here I am getting a DUI in front of her house. But being the silver-tongued podcaster that I am, I managed to talk her into letting me stay. But it wasn’t maybe two days when I started sneaking it in. I snuck it in my backpack and I had full intentions of going to get it. I didn’t do DoorDash here, but I was sober enough to drive.
I felt comfortable going to the liquor store, and I went and came back and got my drink on, and she must have heard a thump or something because she felt compelled to open the door to my room and check on me and, there, I was laying face down, unconscious. So next thing you know, she calls the ambulance, and I wake up to EMTs checking me out. “Don’t worry, buddy, we got you.” Throwing me in the back of an ambulance and taking me to the hospital. I was in the hospital for a day or two then as well. After I got out and when I’d gotten out of jail, I called my wife and she was less than pleased. They had impounded my car as well, so I had to go get my car out of impound. So I had my vehicle and I got back to the house.
By the time I got back, she’d already changed the door code, so there was no way for me to get in. I just stood there just ringing the doorbell and knocking until she eventually got sick enough of it that she came to the door, and this sweet, sweet, beautiful woman looked at me, and she goes, “Get your shit and get the fuck out my house right now.” I know a lot of Christian folks, but this lady is a Christian among Christians, and to hear her say that was mind-blowing. It’s just like, oh my God, this is irreparable, and it was. She allowed me to get one set of fresh clothes and put on some shoes, and then she immediately kicked me out. So all my stuff stayed at her house. All my clothes, my computers, everything, all my other possessions, medication, everything. She just gave me just enough time to get dressed and get out. And from there, I was like, well, what do I do now?
I ended up going to a hotel. It was a Marriott hotel. I was there for a total of 10 days. After day 8, that sweet little lady allowed me to come back to her house and get the remainder of my stuff. So I’m sitting here in the same set of clothes – I’m talking T-shirts, underwear – what I had on was it. By day 8, she finally let me come over and get the remainder of my stuff. While she was still less than pleased, she was very supportive. She had some suggestions for potential places of treatment and, of course, turned me to the Bible and read me some scripture and was trying to point me in the right direction but, “I don’t care where you go, you’re not staying here. But I want the best for you.” So she’s amazing.
So I went to the hotel. Like I said, I was there for 10 days, and then I was talking to my wife, and we both agreed that Santé wasn’t the answer for the third time. I went there once, didn’t complete the program, just did a 30-day. Went there, completed the program, and still it didn’t do any good whatsoever. So we came to the conclusion that I needed a dual-diagnosis facility, meaning where they address not just the addiction side of things, but the mental side of things and the emotional side of things. They treat that as well. So any kind of childhood trauma or major events in your life that you carry with you still, you start working through that. My childhood was very rough from every perspective.
So, we started searching for a place and where I’m at right now– I’m at San Diego Detox out here in California, and this isn’t where I was originally going. We had landed in a different place, and the recovery industry is kind of interesting because if you look at a facility online, they’re typically an 888 number. What ends up happening is you dial that number about this particular facility that you found online and you end up with what I call– I don’t know what the technical term is, but I call them sobriety brokers. So somehow they get paid for placements.
Scott
Lead generation, right? Is that what they’re doing?
Larry
Yeah, they’re lead generation for these– that’s basically it. You go into a sales pitch. Honestly, that’s exactly how it is. And this guy seemed cool. He seemed genuinely concerned, and I started to trust him, and he found me a spot that was in Orange County out here still in California because I wanted to get away from Texas. I wanted a dual-diagnosis facility. I didn’t want to have any access to my normal patterns or networks or friends or anything. I wanted to get out.
Scott
You needed the bubble.
Larry
Yeah. I wanted a pattern interrupt. You know what I mean? So I said yes to this other place that was supposed to be this beautiful mansion, and there’s only five other guys that are there. It was an all-male facility. There’s only five others there. You get your own room and everything. They actually flew me out. I didn’t buy a ticket to San Diego. They picked me up in a limousine at the airport, and I’m thinking, “All right, we’re off to a good start.” But then I get to the place, and it’s totally opposite of what I was sold on. It’s rundown. The intake office was in their storage garage, literally a storage garage. The mop and buckets over here, the Craftsman toolbox is over there. The couches are ripped and torn, and the desks are missing their enamel. They’re scratched to shit. It was just the least professional place I’d ever been in my life when it comes to therapy and I’m questioning the place just right away. All the plants were dead. The pool that they made looked magnificent, and I don’t even use the pool, but it looked magnificent. It wasn’t much bigger than a spa. The photographer that took those shots, props to that person because they did an exceptional job.
I went ahead and went through the process, and I was kind of hesitant right out the gate, and I let them know. But then they took me on a tour. Man, they took me through the kitchen area and the snack area and all this stuff, and the countertops were sticky. They were not clean. The felt on the pool table was ripped. Every piece of furniture was dilapidated, broken, or in some way damaged, stained. They walked me outside, it’s the same thing. Every piece of furniture is nuts, and it wasn’t a private room. It was two people to a room. Granted, they were significant rooms but, still, it’s not what I was told that it was.
I called my lead gen guy back, my sobriety broker back, and I said, “Bro, this is nothing like what you told me it was going to be, and it’s not going to work for me.” He’s like, “Man, just give it a shot. You just got there.” I said, “That’s all I need. I needed to get here and see it, and I know this is not going to work for me.” He says, “Do me a favor. Just give it 24 hours.” And with a lot of hesitation, I said, “Okay.” I lasted about four hours, maybe five, and I’m like, “This is not for me. It’s not going to work.” They take your wallet and some other possessions from you when you get there and put it in some kind of safe. And I said, “Hey, can I get my shit back? Because this just ain’t going to work for me.” The nurse tech, I’d be willing to bet she didn’t even have a GED, much less a certification of any sort just based on her terminology and the language she was using when it came to medications and stuff. I was like, “She’s not educated in this arena.” And I just didn’t have any faith.
Scott
So you left that place?
Larry
So yeah. I packed up my stuff, called an Uber, went to a hotel, spent a night in the hotel, woke up about 3.30, 4.00 the next morning, and started making phone calls. I called my sobriety broker back. I got his boss’s number, called that cat, and I said, “Y’all going to have to find me someplace else because I just spent money for my own hotel.” He’s like, “What? What do you mean you didn’t stay there?” I said, “No, I didn’t stay there. There ain’t a chance in hell I’m staying there, but you all need to find me a space because, now, here I am in San Diego with no place to go, no car, no real resources other than money. So you need to help me out.”
They sent me a couple other places that were very questionable and then they finally sent me this spot, and I was like, “Okay. This looks great.” It’s literally one of the top-rated facilities in the country, and I can see why – because the treatment level here is exceptional. The therapists are great. I’m not trying to do an ad for them, but if you’re looking for help, this is a phenomenal spot.
Scott
But it’s a 30-day stay that you can’t extend past that.
Larry
Right, yeah. That’s the downside – this is a 30-day facility. You might go 31 or 32 days while they transition you over to the long-term care, but I’m going to be in California for the next four to six months because I’m going to live here and, like I said, within about a week, and then I’m going to go to what they call PHP, which is a patient hospitalization program. It’s just one lower level of care than what I get here, meaning the therapy’s not quite as intense, and then the case manager’s work’s not quite as intense, but it’s still very structured for 30 to 45 days. Then, you transition to the lower level of care, the intensive outpatient, and you start off with IOP five, which is five days a week, and they’re half days of activities and therapy and that sort of thing. Then you finally transition to IOP three, which is the same thing, but only three days a week, and then you complete the program. So I’m going to be out here for that entire time. I’m going to be out here in California doing that.
Scott
And that’s another four to six months?
Larry
Yeah, another four to six months. I had done some research on my own. If you take this path, the chance of success increases 60% to 70% if you go through these different phases. So I’m like, “Dude, this is amazing. This is it.” Even after you go through the entire program, you still need maintenance. You’re outside the bubble. Again, even in IOP, you’re outside the bubble quite a bit, but you’re still kind of in the bubble. Then, now I go back to Dallas, I’m outside the bubble, I’ve got to find a community of like-minded individuals, and I don’t even know where I’m going to go when I get back, to be honest with you. I’m homeless. I’m literally homeless right now, but I’ll figure something out before I leave. I’ve got some time. But yeah, I don’t know where I’m going to end up. I might end up back in Dallas. I might go home to my hometown. I don’t know. I’m not going to stay in California, I can tell you that. But yeah, I don’t know where I’m going.
Scott
Thinking about your future has to be a little bit overwhelming now. You don’t have the same business you had before, and you don’t have a place where you can say, “Yeah, that’s where I live.” You got to figure all that out. But you don’t have to figure it out now, though.
Larry
Right.
Scott
You just kind of put that in a box and say, “Okay, I’m going to think about that later.”
Larry
Yeah. My mail still goes to what was my house. And my wife and I, we’re– I mean, she played a critical role in me even coming out here in the first place, so she’s been super supportive. We still talk about every other day, and we text daily, so I’ve got that support. Most of our mutual friends have reached out. I started creating content on a regular basis. I do a daily journal, video journal of what took place and what realizations I’ve had. I’ve been doing that for about a week now, maybe a week and a half, and that’s been helpful.
Scott
I’ve seen every one of them, yeah.
Larry
Oh, excellent.
Scott
Because they’re all on Facebook. They pop up. When you did your first update video saying, “Hey, everyone. You haven’t seen me for a while. Well, here’s what’s going on…” I had no idea, as I said.
Larry
Yeah.
Scott
But when you did that video, your transparency and your vulnerability, it was just amazing.
Larry
Thank you.
Scott
I got to ask you, though. Treatment like this is incredibly expensive.
Larry
Yes.
Scott
And do you have your own insurance that is covering all this?
Larry
No. My wife and I, although we’re separated, I don’t have insurance, but I’m still on her corporate insurance. That’s the only reason we’re still technically married is because she’s super cool, super helpful. The decree has been drawn up. It’s been signed by both of us. It’s been notarized, but it just hasn’t been turned in to finalize the divorce. She said, “I know you need help and I don’t want to cut you off. I don’t want to take your insurance away. I want you to get healthy.” So, again, even through the times where we weren’t talking and I fucked her over again by going back and drinking again, she still only wanted the best for me and that’s just another testament to her character, her mental fortitude, and just how much of an amazing human being she really is.
Scott
Yeah. She’s amazing. This is just a side note, how are you handling the DUI since you’re not going to be in Texas for a while? Do you have to go to court or anything for that?
Larry
My court date, it takes five months for the blood test to come back. So they drew blood on me. Supposedly, I consented to it, but I don’t know how you can consent when you’re as drunk as I was because I don’t remember it. I didn’t even know they took it. So I hired a lawyer, paid for a lawyer. Also, obviously, I bailed out, so I have a bail bondsman, and they both know that I went to California, so I got permission from both of them before I came out here. I check in with my bail bondsman every Tuesday just to give him an update and, honestly, regardless of whether I’m out here or back in Texas, I had to check in with him every Tuesday anyways so they know where I’m at – precise geolocation – and they can verify that where I’m at is really where I’m at. They’re cool as long as I just stay in contact with them and keep them up to date on my progress.
Even my lawyer, he thinks it’s great that I’m out here and getting treatment, but I don’t regularly update him at all because we just don’t have anything really to discuss until the blood work comes back because, in Texas, the level of crime that it is, it’s going to be a misdemeanor regardless. But if you blow a 0.15 and below, it’s a B-class misdemeanor. But if you’re above a 1.5, it’s an A-class misdemeanor, which is one level below a felony. The blood work’s going to play a major factor in how this case goes forward. So we got to wait for that to happen, then they’ll set a court date. And if they set it while I’m still out here and I’m still in treatment, then I’ll have to do just a quick pop out there to court and hopefully not be in jail and pop back.
Scott
Or maybe on Zoom or something. The court does that sometimes, right?
Larry
I’ve talked to so many people out here, and their lawyers just went to court for them. They didn’t even make an appearance, and my guy’s like, “No, you got to be here.” So I’m like, “Maybe I should have hired somebody else.” I don’t know.
Scott
He knows, hopefully.
Larry
We’ll address it however we need to address it, for sure.
Scott
But it’s fine. They know where you are anyway.
Larry
Yeah.
Scott
You don’t need Dog the Bounty Hunter showing up on your porch.
Larry
No, I don’t. I do not need Dog the Bounty Hunter flying in.
Scott
All right. I had a question. In one of your videos, you talked about something called the pink cloud trap. What is that?
Larry
That is that timeframe once you come out of detox and you’re thinking clearly again, and you feel like yourself again, and this sounds cheesy but you can actually close your eyes in the shower and not fall over because when you’re not detoxed, you can’t even do that– you cannot close your eyes and stand there. So again, you just go back to feeling like yourself and you start to get a little arrogant, you start to get a little cocky, and you’re thinking, “I got this thing whipped,” and you pull yourself back from all the therapy nonsense, all the classes we have to go through, all that nonsense. It’s like, “I don’t need that. I’m good to go.” Which was basically my attitude on Christmas Eve when I went to Santé the first time. “I don’t need any of this shit. I’m good. I feel great.” That’s the pink cloud. That’s the terminology they use in treatment facilities because you’re just riding on that nice fluffy pink cloud. You’re feeling like you’re good again, and you’re no longer an alcoholic, and everything’s peachy, until that cloud evaporates and you fall back to reality, which happened to me Monday of last week.
Even though I didn’t really reflect on it too much when I did the pink cloud video, which was last week, it was because I had recognized that mine had evaporated. I spent Monday through Thursday very frustrated, very angry, just for no reason. It’s just that emotional rollercoaster that you go on. And then things started to lighten back up on Thursday afternoon, and then I was good to go from there. But yeah, that’s what inspired the pink cloud video was mine evaporated on Monday.
Scott
You’re doing a lot of videos and letting people know about your progress and everything. What’s your primary incentive for getting your story out there?
Larry
To help others. I know what it can do. Because of my Inner Health stay and everything being perfect, I thought, “This is just a game we play. Occasionally, we mess up, and we go back, and I didn’t really lose anything while I was at Inner Health.” I didn’t go into debt. I didn’t lose anything in two and a half years. I’ve lost or given away – I want to reinforce that – everything. I’m six figures in debt. My credit score has dropped tremendously because I have no revenue coming in, haven’t had revenue coming in, in eight to nine months. You can only float so long before you have to start making sacrifices to go, “Well, yeah, I love that credit card, but we’re not going to pay that one this month.”
You have to start making life decisions, real-life decisions. I didn’t have to do that when I went to Inner Health. I went in, got sober, came out, and life pretty much picked up right where it left off because, also, when I went into Inner Health back in 2012, my boss made sure that nobody asked where I was. When I came back, he made sure nobody asked where I’d been. And I say my boss, it was really my boss’s boss. He’s the VP of the entire department, globally, and he’s one of my best friends in the world. Ranks right up there with Karen and Jason Gray, as a matter of fact. So it was easy. It was like it was nothing. I go in, do rehab, come back, go back to my job, go back to life, get my toys back, my four-wheelers, my truck, and all my cool stuff. And it was nothing. But this time, again, reinforcing that alcohol is a progressive disease or alcoholism is a progressive disease, I gave away everything in the span of two and a half years. No cool truck, no cool toys, no place to live, no money, no credits.
To be honest, I’m debating on bankruptcy, and I’m thinking that’s going to have to be the path that I take. And bankruptcy at– I’m nearly 54. I’ll be 54 next month. That’s a tough thing to swallow because they say it sticks with you for seven years, but I filed bankruptcy in my early 20s, and I had problems with it for, I’ll say, 15 to 20 years. It still came up. So it’s basically a death sentence for your credit.
Scott
Yeah. But it can be built up, though. You filed bankruptcy before.
Larry
Yeah. The only reason my credit got where it was is because of Tracy. She viciously pursued getting everything cleaned up. When I met her, I might get a Mervyn’s card – if you remember Mervyn’s – with a $300 limit. But a shopping card like a Dillard’s or a Macy’s or something, I might get one of those cards with the base $300 or $400 limit on it, but I wasn’t getting any real credit cards, special financing on my cars.
Scott
I know there’s some banks that will give you– you make a $300 cash deposit as collateral and then you have a $300 credit, so they can’t lose on that deal.
Larry
No, they’re already covered. It took a while but I was at the point before all this nonsense. I mean, I could do five, six figures on unsecured loans just like that. It was nothing. I’d be lucky now to get a $500 loan. That’s the stuff that people don’t really take into consideration of what this disease not just does to you, but what it does to the people around you. Tracy just– I haven’t said her name the whole podcast. My wife, Tracy, just refinanced the house and took me off the note because she’s afraid there might be some repercussions that come back on her that cause her to lose the house. So you don’t realize the impact that it not just has on you, it affects everyone around you – your friends. My friends had no idea where I was at. One of my closest friends and mentors, he cussed me out when I finally answered the phone after he called about six times because he’s like, “Where have you been? I thought you were dead.” And I explained to him, and he’s like, “All right. Well, we’ll get through it,” or whatever. “Call me if you need me, but at least I know you’re alive.”
Scott
That’s what I saw when you did that video. The response to that video was hundreds of people with positive comments and saying, “Hey, we want to support you,” right?
Larry
Yeah, it was mind-blowing. I didn’t expect anybody really to react. I was overwhelmed, and it was amazing at the level of support that was demonstrated just with that first post. It’s just great. Now, I’m getting direct messages and texts from people that I haven’t talked to in years, high school friends. Strangers even have reached out to me, asked me, “Do you mind if I share your video on my channel?” “Of course not. Please.”
Actually, one of my videos that I have planned for this week as well is, “Why did I add a CTA? Why did I start saying like, subscribe, follow, whatever platform you’re on?” And it’s not because I’m trying to turn this into a revenue-generating machine. It’s because obviously the more engagement you get, the more eyes see it. I think I’m taking it from a different perspective, or at least– well, I’m going to be cocky here. I know I’m taking it from a different perspective than a lot of folks that are sober and they tell their stories. One of the reasons that I struggle with AA is to go listen to those war stories, those rock bottom moments that you had. “Oh, I was in a ditch naked,” or, “Oh, I crashed my car into a wall.” Bro, it’s the same story over and over and over. It’s just different circumstances. We’re all alcoholics. We all hit rock bottom. Yeah, it looks different, and there may be some value in there, but I want to take it from a slightly humorous perspective, like I do with everything. It’s not a funny issue, but be a little light-hearted with my approach and give my personal experience and some facts behind it because I’ve noticed that, when you go to these meetings, there’s not a lot of facts behind it. It’s stories, but there’s not a lot of, “Well, how do I do this? How do I look for this? How do I find this?” When I do eventually launch the podcast, it’s going to be from that approach as well. It’s going to feel just like my daily videos feel. It’s going to feel just like that original video, which was about 12 minutes long. There’ll be some long-form content that I create, again, here in the next couple of weeks once I get stabilized over at wherever I end up. But yeah, I think it’s just a refreshing take, and it needs to be refreshed.
So I just want to let people know the facts, let them know how to find help if they reach out, and help them any way that I can.
Scott
Yeah. Well, I am looking forward to seeing your comeback.
Larry
Appreciate that.
Scott
And maybe I’ll see you at PodFest in Orlando. Who knows? Yeah.
Larry
That’s the goal. That’s where I hope to emerge, at PodFest 2027.
Scott
Oh, that’ll be amazing. And we, you and I, hopefully at some point in the future will do an update episode.
Larry
That’d be great.
Scott
Because I know everyone’s going to say, “Hey, how’s Larry doing?”
Larry
Yeah.
Scott
So yeah, we’ll do that. And people can get in touch with you on all of your socials. We’ll have that information in the show notes for this episode.
Larry
Excellent. Well, I appreciate it.
Scott
Well, thanks for sharing your story.
Larry
Thanks, Scott. It was my pleasure.
Scott
Larry’s a super nice guy and I’m looking forward to the day when he’s out of rehab and has this great story of how he overcame this addiction. But I know for him, as with anyone who struggles with alcoholism, it’s gonna be a lifelong battle. But we’ll definitely do a Flashback episode with Larry at some point in the future.
As I mentioned, you can follow him on Instagram or Facebook and his handle on both of those is “theLarryRoberts”. You can also check out his website at LarryRoberts.com. And you can get all of those links, as well as pictures of Larry, in the episode notes at WhatWasThatLike.com/263.
If you liked this episode, you might like another one I did about a different kind of addiction from a couple of years ago –
Frank
I had a friend who had cancer and he used to get painkillers by the hundreds. Back then, prescriptions were just a white piece of paper that the doctor wrote and handed you. He would actually create them. He would make fake prescriptions, copy the doctor’s signatures, and take them around to all different individual pharmacies – not chains, but individuals. He lives in New Jersey. I started to buy them from him and his were stronger. He would get Percocets. I would FedEx him money and he would FedEx me Percocets.
Scott
Would you say you were addicted at that point?
Frank
Oh yes, for sure. I did learn that, by the time you realize you might be addicted, you’re seriously addicted.
Scott
That’s episode 182 from July of 2024, titled “Frank bought 500 pills a week”.
Graphics for this episode were created by Bob Bretz. Full episode transcription was created by James Lai.
And you know what time it is – time for this week’s Listener Story. We end these episodes with a short story, like 5-10 minutes, that was sent in by a listener. For most of these, the listener just records it on their phone and emails it to me – Scott@WhatWasThatLike.com. But you can also just call the Podcast Voicemail line – that number is 727-386-9468. It’s never answered by a human, and you can leave a message there that can be up to 3 minutes long. Need more time, just call back and record the rest. We’ll make it work.
This week’s story is actually a few individual stories to start with – but they all come together at the end.
Stay safe, and we’ll see you next time.
(Listener story)
When I was 11 years old, I had bloomed. Puberty had hit, and through some begging, my parents allowed me to get what we all called a big girl bikini, meaning a bikini I could fill out. It happened to be a bikini that was kind of commemorating the American flag. I was so excited about it that I wanted to go show one of my best friends, who happened to be a guy that lived about four doors down. He and his brother were exactly the same age as me and my sister. So I changed into my bikini, unbeknownst to my mother, wrapped myself up in the Indian blanket and took off running across those four yards. When I got to his house and came around the backyard, I could hear them in the backyard and thought, “Well, you know what? If his little brother sees it, so be it.” And as I came around the corner, I flew open the Indian blanket and said, “Look at my new bi…” and then realized that the person who was standing with my best friend, Chuck, was not his brother. It was another guy I’ve never seen before, so of course, I yelped, slammed the blanket shut, and ran all the way home. Well, we shortly moved after that, so we never got a chance to discuss it, thank God.
Well, about four years later, I am a freshman in high school. I am in the high school band, and we always went to the same pizza joint, and had been going for, my understanding, about a decade or more. It was a tradition. So off we went on Friday night after a football game, and our attire was to change out of our band uniform, kind of, by just taking the bottom off and putting on a pair of jeans, wearing suspenders with our white cotton button-downs and our jackets, which of course, had the school logo all over them. This establishment had cement floors, picnic tables, a big window where you could watch the guy throw in the pizza.
And up front, near the hearth on the weekends, which included Friday nights, was an older gentleman that played the banjo. So there we were enjoying our pizza and Coke, and the man started to play our school song, and we were so excited. It was what we played ourselves after every touchdown. So I got up from the table and started dancing on the floor. Well, two of the senior guys who had kind of taken me under their wing, kind of big brother-like, told me, cleared a space on the table and said, “Hey girl, get on up here and dance.” Which I did. I got on top of the table and started to dance, and then with a little bit of cajoling, I began to act like, please understand, act like I was going to strip by starting to take off my jacket at which point, we were told to leave the establishment. Not only that, we were banished. That’s right. I’m responsible for blowing that tradition. But we found another place. It’s okay.
Fast forward another, I don’t know, six years, and I’m on a date. We happened to go to a little place that had live music that night, and the rest of the band got down to get their beer at the bar. The lead guitar and singer were up there kind of picking away at his guitar, so I just thought he was setting it up for the next set. Then he just starts to play a melody, and he starts to sing this song, and it was the most hauntingly beautiful song I’d ever heard. I was enthralled. Everything else stopped as I watched this man sing.
When he got off the stage to a smattering of applause, I cut off his path to the bar, and I’m like, “That was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. It was so, I don’t know, sad. Did you write it?” And he kind of chuckled, and he said, “No.” He told me the name of the song, “Sweet Music Man,” told me who originally sang it, and we talked a little bit more, and I went on and on about how much feeling he put into that song, and it was just the best song I thought of the night. He thanked me again, and he went to go get his beer.
Well, I don’t know, six years later, I meet and then two more years marry my husband. He comes home from work one day. He’s got this tall blonde man next to him. He said, “Do you recognize who this is?” And of course, I got to admit, the first thing that went through my mind was, “Ooh, I hope I didn’t date him.” But no, it ended up being Chuck’s little brother, Billy. Fred had actually known him, like, in the fourth and fifth grade, went to school with him, and they had been buddies. I was like, “Well, that’s pretty cool.” So we all started to hang out.
About three months later, we’re all at a party. There was alcohol, and a song came on, and we all kind of got up and danced – correction, I kind of got up and danced – and Billy said, “Hey, do you remember that time you came over to my house and flashed me with that bathing suit bikini?” And I’d forgotten all about it, but I was like, “Oh my gosh.” Before I could finish the sentence, my husband’s head ripped around. He said, “That was you?” Yeah. He was the little boy in the backyard. That’s right. And guess what? It doesn’t stop there. The guy that was playing the banjo, the one that I probably made a spectacle of myself in front of, his grandfather. That’s right. His grandfather played the banjo at the pizza place during that time period. And yes, you guessed it, the man who was up there singing the song, who I got up and effusively just went on and on about how hauntingly beautiful, how hauntingly beautiful, how hauntingly beautiful that song was, was my husband’s father. So I met all of them way before I met him and married him. So I think that’s what you call serendipity, and thank God for it.